Fill My Cup

This is Love

2012-02-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

YOU are loved

Source: Uploaded by user via Melissa on Pinterest

in a to-die-for kind of way

Happy Valentine's Day!

Accessorizing Girls is So Much Fun

2012-02-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

Moms of Girls, listen up! We all know that accessorizing our girls is tons of fun. And, I've discovered a designer that is like a diamond in the rough.

Seriously.

Krista Hofkamp (Love Bug Baby Boutique) makes all types of fun accessories from hair things, to legwarmers, to shoes, to tutus, and so on for babies to adults. Since we received more of her items when Hannah won the model contest, her products have become a fav in our household.

And here's the best part. In addition to supporting a mama and small business, she is all about making cuteness affordable for your family.

For instance, this weekend she ran a legwarmer sale and I got this adorable pair for free because I was the first commenter

and this for $1!

Plus, she does frequent auctions. So, I got this adorable satin elastic hairband for a mere $2

I love them because they are not only adorable but they are comfortable for the girls.

We also go one for $4 (it's impossible to get enough pink in our house)

and...brace yourself... this one from the Valentine Sale for $5.

The Valentine Sale is not done so I should probably wrap this up so you can get over to her Facebook page and find some sweetness for your little princesses, but not before I just point out this

and this

Ya. I'll wrap it up. I'd like her page so that you don't miss out on the upcoming auctions. I mean really....deals this great are hard to come by and the fun factor...Through. The. Roof!

PS- If you see the girls keep your lips zipped. Valentines gifts...Done :)

Which Kills More Germs: Hand Sanitizer or Soap?

2012-02-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

This is the question Grace chose to ask for her science fair.

Yes, those are colored on painted nails. What can I say, I'm raising girls. :)

Since it is so relevant to keeping us healthy, lots of people have been interested in her results so I thought I'd share what our little scientist studied incase you want to replicate it in your own academic setting.

To do the project we ordered petri dishes with pre-poured agar off Amazon. One dish was opened to air for 10 seconds and immediately closed. This was the control. For the second dish, Grace rubbed her hand through her hair for 30 seconds and washed with SoftSoap hand soap for 30 seconds. Then she placed her hands directly onto the agar for 30 seconds. For the third dish she repeated the same process only she washed her hands for 60 seconds. The fourth and fifth dishes repeated the same process with GermX hand sanitizer. And, the final dish was 30 seconds of rubbing her hand throug her hair and no hand washing at all.

She practiced counting and assessing data all at once when she began gathering her results. At 24 hours, 48 hours, and 72 hours she counted the colonies and, obviously, the one with the least germ growth represented the best at killing off germs.

Her results were astounding. Hand sanitizer was FAR MORE effective at every point of data collection. In fact, the 60 second hand sanitizer only had 13 colonies.

This is no soap of any kind (168 colonies).

Wash your hands people!

She was so excited to set up her board (we found the fun foam hands at Hobby Lobby) and explain her results to the many that walked through. In true mother form, I got all teary eyed watching her. I'm going to have to work on that if we are going to do this for years to come. :)

Approximately 1/3 of her student body participated in the science fair, which I thought was an awesome testament to the wonderful teachers and administration that get kids and their parents so fired up about learning that they do optional projects and hang out at school on a Friday night. The kids' creativity was incredible.

As the judges came around, they listened to the children explain their project and gave them a ribbon.

Grace has been carrying it everywhere. She even showed it to her dance teacher yesterday. :)

Overall, this was an easy, interesting science project that I'd highly recommend for science fairs, early elementary ed teachers, or homeschool parents. It really drove home a point that we parents are constantly trying to make. Now Grace wants to wash her hands (because she's seen what is on her hands if she doesn't) and the new challenge is getting her to still use soap. Something about hand sanitizer only after going to the bathroom just seems wrong. So she's doing both. :)

Did your child do a science project? I'd love to hear about it. And, if any involved food/cooking I'd REALLY love to hear about it. That's what she initially hoped to find and we struck out!

Mexican Dip

2012-02-06T10:25:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've shared a recipe in this space and after some awesome Superbowl food I thought it was about time!

When in a pinch for time a wanting to make something easy and yummy, this is the dip for you.

Here we go!

You Will Need:
16oz cream cheese
1 can corn (drained)
1 small can black olives (sliced)
1 package spicy ranch dip
20 jalapeno slices
1 small red bell pepper

Blend together the ingredients with a hand mixer and stick it in the fridge for a little cooling time.

I'd suggest using some "hardy" dipping chips so they don't break when you dip. We used scoop corn chips.

If you don't like spicy food use less jalapeno slices but make sure to use some to get the appropriate flavor.

Enjoy!

You're Gonna Want to Bookmark This!

2012-02-03T13:13:00.000-08:00

Check. It. Out. Our newest book Who's In Your Social Network has it's own website and I have to gush about it because I know you're gonna want to bookmark this!

This website will be a key to staying "in the know" on current teen culture as it relates to media, relationships, and sexuality. The community formed will inspire, encourage, and educate you. Teens, you will hear the voices of your peers and get helpful advice. Parents & youth workers, you will see & hear in a very real way what your teens are facing so that you can have healthier, more comfortable conversations with the people you love.

If you haven’t picked up the book yet, please order here and it will be on your doorstep before you know it. The words from your peers will promote more discussion in this space.

So here’s what you can be watching for on the WIYSN site

1) On the blog – The blog will be updated frequently with current discussion topics that apply to this book as well as Nobody Told Me (our first book on relationships that is another must have on your nightstand). In addition to our words, you can expect to see YOUR words. Any good questions and powerful stories written in to us with permission to be used could show up here. We want to hear from you so please write us!

2) Videos – Personal videos as well as powerful videos from external sites worth a watch will be added often. Sit back and enjoy them.

3) The Store – As you're reading the books, enjoying the blogs, and watching videos you might come across a need for more information. The store will have all that you need to guard your body and heart for the future.

The long and short of it? Bookmark, pin, or whatever it is that you do to get back to frequently visited sites and make sure that you check in OFTEN because it’s going to be fun and interactive and awesome. And, if there is anything you want to see us write about please be sure to ask because we will respond.

If You Ever Feel too Damaged to be Made "Good"

2012-01-31T18:34:00.000-08:00

We've lived in our house nearly nine years and the upstairs carpet has seen some wear. A dog has been house trained. Two kids have been potty trained, learned to walk, and use sippy cups. Not to mention the regular wear of daily foot traffic.

Because of its color, blemishes show easily. To say it's ready to be replaced is an understatement and each time I sit in the recliner to rock the baby or take time to write I find my eyes focussed in on the spots. They are annoying. They detract my house from being what I want it to be.

I just want them gone.

Realizing my frustration, my wonderful husband came to the rescue. While I helped Grace on her science project (which rocks by the way but more on that another time), he pulled out the carpet cleaner and went to work. Slowly and purposefully, he ran the machine over all of the carpets. When he approached a stain, he spent extra time working the trouble spot.

I found myself mesmerized. There is something oddly gratifying about seeing the brown sludge...more than I ever realized was there...filling up the machine. And, as that happened, the carpet was of bathed of its impurities. It was clean.

I was shocked. I seriously thought it was beyond hope. Yet here the carpet was free of the impurities that defiled its beauty.

God does the same with us.

You know those words you said to your child last week when you lost your temper and apologized for but still feel bad about? You know that addiction you've conquered but still let hinder your relationships? You know the fear that weighs you down from reaching for your goals because of past failures? You know that sexual sin you turned away from but still let define your worth? You know the embarassment you hold onto because of a relationship lost? You know the mental tape that says the clothes look better on the Loft hanger than on you or that you're not a good enough wife, friend, employee...and the list goes on. You know the "blemishes" inside that have become so much a part of you that you feel you can't be the person you want to be?

Good news! He makes all things new.

God is the master soul cleaner.

Just when we think who we are is forever marred God's spirit descends upon us and (with our desire) gently works on the stains of life. Sludge from sin is extracted and we are made as white as snow. When we evaluate ourselves unfairly against society's standpoint of perfection or when tainted mindsets tell us wrongly who we aren't when we've been wronged, God's whisper reminds us that we are a new creation.

We see ourselves in a new light.

And we should live in the hope His work (and relationship with us) makes possible.

I have a tendency to hold on to my "blemishes" - some real, some perceived. But, God says, "Let it go! Look again! I've made you beautiful."

And He says the same to you.

A Note From My First Love

2012-01-25T05:50:00.000-08:00

Source: online-image-editor.com via Jesslyn42 on Pinterest

For all the single ladies.

And, for all you mothers of single little ladies, please hop on over to MODSquad to see my post about how you can use this note along with specific discussion questions to promote a meaningful chat about healthy romantic love with your girls. If you expose them to Perfect Love now they will be more likely to choose Godly character in an earthly man later.

Don't forget to reinforce the message with NOBODY TOLD ME. The cool format and actual stories and comments from their peers is certain to encourage them in choosing God's best!

Because Today Is Global Belly Laugh Day

2012-01-24T08:13:00.000-08:00

For Real

This...from our family to yours.

Isn't it just good for the soul?!

3 Joy Gifts
1) Being a mommy
2) Laughter filling our home
3) Cell phones that allow me to catch unexpected moments like these :)

Dear Dad {In Heaven}, I'm All About Your 49ers

2012-01-21T06:36:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl, my dad used to style my hair, play Barbies with me, and, on Sunday, we'd watch football together. He taught me the rules and inspired a deep love for the game.

Eventually those hours together turned into playful competition. Somehow I turned into a Minnesota Vikings fan even though no one else in my family was. Maybe it was because purple was a pretty color to a little girl? He cheered for the Oakland Raiders and the San Francisco 49ers.

Each Sunday after church I'd get my Vikings colors on and my dad would emerge from my parents' room in full attire: a team sweatshirt and zubaz.

photo credit

Do you remember those ugly things? Let's be glad those were a here today gone tomorrow phase!

Then we'd let the cheering begin.

My junior year of college that bonding time came to an abrupt hult when my dad went Home to be with Jesus. On kickoff day the following season I distinctly remember melting into a pile of tears. No earthly dad. No ridiculous zubaz.

Thankfully, God held me in my pain. As He collected my every tear in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), I looked into His face, gathering courage to put one foot in front of the next. He put His hand on my heart and I began to feel hope.

"Weeping may come through the night, but joy comes with the morning." (Psalm 30:5)

Like a surgeon that opens a wound to fix it and restore health, so too did my Great Physician enter the places that hurt most and work on my brokenness. Over time, my Heavenly Father helped me emerge stronger than before with new, grateful perspective.

Football is awesome. It continues to be a Sunday tradition in my house. My hubby is a Vikings fan and together we are training up our girls in the way they should go :)

But since this year was a colossal fail for them, we place our support elsewhere for this 2012 playoffs. And, I couldn't be more thrilled than to cheer loud and proud for the San Francisco 49ers tomorrow.

You see, for me football is more than just a game. It is an earthly connect to a man I loved so very dearly. It is a weekly prompt to many wonderful memories. And, the 49ers playoff birth is a chance to cheer with my dad...who cheered me on all the years of his life.

A gift.

I'm hoping for lots of great plays tomorrow. With each first down, big pass, and touchdown, I'll be thinking of my dad wearing his ridiculous zubaz doing a silly victory dance around the kitchen.

It makes me smile just thinking about it.

GO SAN FRAN!

Today's joyful gifts:
Cherished memories
An invested father
God's use of ordinary things - like football - to touch us in extraordinary ways

Life Lessons from a Crawling Baby

2012-01-17T18:57:00.000-08:00

I've been seeing a lot of this side of Ava lately.

Apparently she's decided that sitting around isn't all that fun and she's ready to be a woman on the move.

For some reason, I've really been studying her attempt to crawl. It's been a long time since we've had a crawling baby in the house. Grace is six and Hannah skipped the phase all together.

Like many things in life, the crawling thing doesn't come easy.

Once she got the power to pull herself up on all fours, she fell. Then as that stance became stronger, she started to move, but her body wouldn't take her where her mind wanted to go. She'd move her back two legs and crash nose dive into the floor. Realizing that wasn't quite working, she'd get up again and tried a new approach - hands first. Unfortunately for her, that stretched her body so much she'd belly flop.

But with each fall she'd get right back up on all fours.

I have to admit, the mother in me was okay with the lack of immediate success. We all know that a crawling baby means gates by the steps, dog food up on the counter, polly pockets out of the living room, etc. Yet, with each attempt, that chubby cheeked little girl would grin her hugest grin at me and I couldn't help but find myself saying, "Come on, cutie. You can do it!"

As I've watched her over the last two weeks, I've wondered what it was about crawling that made her want to do it so bad. After all, she could roll across the room in a split second. What made her want to try and try again each day?

And then it hit me.

She gets up, time after time, and tries again with all the enthusiasm her little body can hold because she has an innate sense that she was made to do this.

I want to be like her.

Somewhere between being a baby and becoming an adult we lose that sense of confidence. We dare to put our dreams in to motion but when the first breeze topples our self-assurance we fall and fear getting back up.

What if I fall again? Is it worth it? we ask ourselves.

But here is the secret I've discovered in watching baby number three work so hard to crawl

If He put it in us, it will happen.

So throw yourself into His arms. Whatever it is: the dream you've been scared to take the first step towards, the goal you haven't felt successful in reaching, the daily chore you simply want to do better.

Begin each day anew without fear of a few nose dives or belly flops. Choose to be like the crawling baby that hasn't been stilted by the voices and comparisons of the world.

Take heart, my friends, success, peace, & incredible joy will come.

PS- Ava crawled today :)

When You're Ready for Baby

2012-01-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes as a mother I feel like days fly by at mach speed. That is why I've decided to consciously note atleast 3 joy moments per day - where I sense God's presence and smile.

As you can imagine, seeing this Sanford "When You're Ready for Baby" ad in the paper this week left me glowing

because that uber cute baby is mine. :)

God has entrusted three beautiful girls to us, all of which were born at Sanford. No more accurate quote is there than Elizabeth Stone's statement, "Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

Every day my heart is tugged a million directions by the emotions, attitudes, and decisions of three little people. And, seeing Ava's picture in the paper, on the billboards, and on the website gently reminds me just how thankful I am to have such a great system of care and, FAR more, that I get to be called "mommy" everyday.

Whether a good day or bad day, there is no greater gift.

Photo credit

Clickin' Along. Internet Surfing Strong

2012-01-06T10:48:00.000-08:00

The weekend is here!

As you relax, kick up your feet, and see what is happening in the world I invite your Internet search to include two wonderful sites that are filling me with joy.

First, Pam and I are honored to be featured in The Innocent Voice this month. This magazine promotes the dignity of all people through faith based articles. Our article will empower all you parents and youth leaders to start important discussion about sex and promoting God's best with the teens in your life.

On a more relaxed note, the MODSquad cafe is open today. I love being a MODSquad writer - encouraging mothers of daughters to raise their girls in the Lord. The first Friday of the month is always a question that invites mothers to grab a latte, read a question, and take turns answering from our electronic devices. The ideas, support, and grace that come from these chats are java for the soul so don't miss out on these month to month. :) Today's question: what are your mom goals for 2012?

I love that I get to share this news with you on Ephiphany. Today we celebrate the wise men arriving to see the baby in a manger. Their journey was long, but they stayed the course because of the Light and hope He was sure to bring them. May we all have the same zeal to commune with the Christ Child in our everyday lives.

My New Year's Resolution

2012-01-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

Is to write more.

Not just the book writing type (although I hope to do that too), but the put away the quick, convenient technology and sit down with a piece of paper and pen variety.

I've always loved connecting with others this way but I didn't do it as much in 2011 as I wish I would have.

There are three specific people I aim to write.

1) My granny. She and I have always been close and she loves getting mail. Often times she tells me I'm the only person she gets letters from. I'm all about bringing her more smiles! :)

2) Our World Vision sponsor child. In a previous post I shared that we are happy to be sponsoring a new little girl because the goals were met in our previous child's community. And, while I celebrated that great news, I regretted not writing her more. Sweet Nayely will hear more from us. This is about two families in two totally different situations enriching each other and I don't want to miss any opportunitites.

And, speaking of not missing any opportunities, I'll be writing to someone I don't even know.

3) "Marie." For many years I've been involved in crisis pregnancy center ministry. For many years I've also been a fan of Lisa Harper. She can teach the Bible in a way that has me laughing so hard it's an abdominal workout all the while infusing every cell of my being with God's love. Yet, her genuine spirit and ability to share can easily move me to tears. She rocks and if you aren't familiar with her ministry take a trip this way.

Last year at Women of Faith Lisa shared that she'd started the adoption process and recently announced her plan to adopt from "Marie" - a birth mother struggling with drugs, a horrific past, and the ability to believe God's love for her. I think if anyone can change that line of thinking it's Lisa :) but we can all use encouragement and Lisa has invited everyone to rally around "Marie." Letters are being accepted here. I challenge all of you with a heart for life, adoption, and the desire for all to recognize their innate value in Christ to join me in lifting her up.

I'm excited about my goal and thankful for this simple opportunity to spread joy. Did you make any New Year's resolutions?

You Are What You Eat

2011-12-28T19:50:00.000-08:00

Now that Christmas has passed everyone is turning their attention to New Year's resolutions. Top on many lists will be the ever popular aspiration to get more fit. Admittedly, I will be included in that group. Now that the baby is old enough to go with me to the gym I am anxious to reclaim my body...or atleast try. :)

Eating healthy, the second half of the "get more fit" equation, will also be important to those aiming to lose weight. Obviously, if you take in more calories than you can burn off there will be how shall we say it excess. And, if Big Macs are chosen over fruits and veggies, the impact on your body is certain to be more negative than positive.

We know this to be true so we make very concerted efforts to consume wisely. After all, we want to live a long, healthy life.

But food isn't the only thing we consume. I dare you to find a home that isn't consuming media and lots of it today. Cell phones. iPads. Computers. Music. Television. Etc. We use it in abundance and sadly, would be lost without it. In fact, the average student today consumes 7.5 hours of media per day and if you take multitasking into account that number jumps to 10 hours and 45 minutes.

This affects our health too. What we put in to our mind WILL BE reflected in our character. If what we put into our minds equates to a steady diet of potato chips, Coca-Cola, and double cheeseburgers, we shouldn't be surprised if our thoughts words, and actions, that come out are pure nastiness.

Shouldn't we be as concerned about our integrity as we were our figure?

Start 2012 off right with an honest look at your complete health. Assess what you are mentally digesting and make any changes necessary to preserve your character, respect your (future) spouse, and draw you nearer to the heart of God.

And guess what?

Pam and I's new book is OUT EARLY to help you make that poosible!

Although written for teens/young adults, it is a message that rings true for all of us. Containing honest questions and powerful stories about the impact of television, movies, music, gaming, pornography, sexting, facebook, twitter, cyber-bullying, etc., in a fun facebook like format, we challenge all readers to think carefully through their choices AND inspire you to use your media for good. Because you can in a powerful way. Seriously, the stories shared blew. me. away.

Just like food is going to be part of your everyday existence, media (in some form) will be too. So, while you assess your cuisine intake why not inventory your mind consumption too? It's critical to experiencing health in true fullness.

This matters.

Orders made through Pam's office will ship immediately. Make sure your home (and most importantly the teen you love) isn't without it!

Happy New Year!

Our Christmas in Pictures

2011-12-25T20:46:00.001-08:00

This weekend was filled with family time and memory making moments.

Grace and Hannah were excited to put on their new dresses

And carry candles in church.

Ava celebrated her very first Christmas

She was at such a fun age to dress up

even at night.

As usual, we made our birthday cake for Jesus. This year Grace wanted to make cupcakes shaped into a cross.

Singing to our Savior makes the joyous event feel so real. It is a great way for both the young and old sense the most important birthday in history.

Another first for us this Christmas literally brought tears. Part of it is captured right here.

After reading Jesus' birth story verse by verse through Advent, Grace (6) read the entire story from my Bible for the first time.

And what a beautiful story it is. Immanuel - God WITH us - is here. In our highest of highs and lowest of lows we do not walk alone. Christ is present. Always.

Merry Christmas!

Oh Christmas Tree

2011-12-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

Every year in my house there is a discussion about when the Christmas tree should go up. If I had it my way it would be proudly displayed early November, but my husband has always felt strongly that we wait until the Thanksgiving meal has been eaten.

For a long time I couldn't explain why I wanted it up so early. I'd say that I found the glow of the Christmas lights relaxing and that was it...until I was writing this year and really studying the tree.

I have an incredible grandma. My love for her cannot be confined by words and every year since I was born she has gotten me a Hallmark ornament to commemorate something in my life. From my birth, to my hobbies, to my marriage, to our first home and so on, there is an ornament signifying the event on my tree. Once we started having children, she passed the tradition on to them - each getting one yearly.

When I married Charlie, a box of his ornaments made way to our first apartment. Inside were memories of his baptism, handmade gifts he'd made in Sunday School, and, since then, a Hallmark ESPN ornament that plays the theme song i.e. the "soothing sounds" that we fall asleep to each night.

Now new homemade treasures are making way to our house. Grace and Hannah have both crafted ornaments that remind me of special time shared in the school gym painting pottery, surprises made at church, and sweet gifts made at school. Even the star on top brings me back to the Menards trip where Grace was thoroughly convinced she found the "most beautiful tree topper ever." How do you say no to that?

Here's why I love the tree

This one unique decoration shares the story of our lives.

All of the ornaments represent who Charlie and I were as individuals before we met, our life as a couple, and the gift of being parents. I cherish it.

In the words of the carol "Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree! How richly God has decked thee!"

Peanut Clusters

2011-12-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is making goodies with my former college roommate. Yesterday was the big day and since I haven't shared a recipe in a while I thought I'd let you in on our peanut cluster recipe because they are insanely good, embarassingly easy, and it makes a ton. Perfect for your holiday gatherings.

We tried them last year for the first time and they've definitely solidified themselves a spot in the yearly rotation.

So let's get cooking! Got your aprons on? :)

Here is what you need:
2 lbs white almond bark
1 (12oz) bag semi sweet chocolate chips
1 (12oz) bag milk chocolate chips
2 lbs salted blanched peanuts

To make:
Melt the white almond bark and chocolate chips in the microwave. Stir in the salted peanuts and spoon the desired cluster sizes on to a waxed paper sheet. Let harden.

That's it. Yield = around 150 clusters.

I've got to say, this year we were especially efficient. Check out all this candy and we had some put away with more to go!

The only problem? We only have one treat with color that we "love." We've tried other recipes but haven't found one that is a keeper.

Soooooo.....now that you know our dilemma will you share your favorite "pretty" homemade candy with me? Recipes and links in the comments WELCOME. Thank you!

Worth

2011-12-10T12:22:00.000-08:00

US Weekly just tweeted "Unless you've been living under a rock, you've glimpsed Lindsay Lohan's leaked playboy cover." Well, I'm happy to say that I've been living under a rock. I've not viewed the cover INTENTIONALLY but I did hear about it. You'd have to be disconnected from all things media not to get word of her recent little photo shoot.

I have to admit, when I first heard the news I was shocked. Quite frankly, I still picture her as a teenager and IMDb'd her to see if she was, in fact, legally old enough for this pornographic shoot. It turns out she has grown up since Mean Girls and, according to her age, she can. Then my heart turned to a place of utter sadness. This is a young girl born into a Catholic family drowing in the sinking sand of the worldly life. Whether it be family pain, a lack of good guidance, Hollywood pressure, or, sadly, a disconnect with God that has grown over time, Lohan has found her way into treatment on multiple occasions for alcohol and drugs, struggled with bulemia, and theft.

I'm wondering if Lindsay felt alone. At one time she seemed to have it all together and now people view her as the "good girl gone bad"...and because she gives them reason. But this photography stint seems to be a effort to make a grand entrance on a sadly (large) stage and say, "Look at me. I'm pretty. I have value."

She isn't alone there. We all want that, don't we?

But the source of our worth will directly impact our lived experience.

If Lindsay thinks this is going to attract people to her it is going to be for all the wrong reasons. When I checked some tweet responses post the intro response (none of which were appropriate for post), she has been reduced to the some of her parts. Not surprising since that is what pornography does. I suspect if this cover brings her back into the movie business it will not be for wholesome parts like The Parent Trap and any guys that place her pretty little arm around theirs will already have expectations for what follows dinner. She's let them see it all. Her bare skin is burned into their brains. All that's left is the physical.

Teen girls watching this please think. When you show guys on dates, sexts (which is illegal), or otherwise the lines of your body God meant for your spouse alone, the sexual imagery will increase the desire for touch. And moms reading this, TALK TALK TALK to your teens. If ever there was a time for discussion about being a Proverbs 31 type woman who adorns herself for her husband only this is it because one of their teen idols just very publically crossed the line from scantily clad, which all girl moms have had to discuss, to completely nude. New territory. And yet not so new in the sense that 20% of teens have sent or posted nude/semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves.

Boy moms, if you think you got a free pass on this one, guess again! Guess who was posting the reply tweets? Who wants to look at these pictures? It isn't girls getting ideas about what gives them worth. No. It is the males attracted to the female design. Unfortunately, the average teen spends one hour and forty minutes looking at pornography. But, it alters brain chemistry...setting unhealthy standards of comparison for a future spouse and horribly, horribly addicting. Boys, think. One day you will show your future spouse how you value her by whether or not you have focussed on what is right and pure (Phil 4:8) to gaurd your heart and mind.

We all want to be valued. We all want to have worth. But the good news is we do. And it isn't found in a pornographic cover shoot or relationship status or the size of your pants. It is in the baby whose birth we are all anticipating this advent season. Jesus came so that we might know the abundant life. Through His teaching we are drawn into relationship with One who knew us before we were conceived (Ephesians 1:11-12), provides for our every need (Matt 6:31-33), and encourages us (2 Thes 2:16-17) in every way because we are God's treasured people.

Our bodies are temples (1 Cor 6:19) designed with intention and care. If we believe this, it will directly impact our conduct. And, the desire to live a pure lifestyle because of Whose will result in attraction to another who wants to bring the fulfillment of His best. That is a win win.

My prayers are for Lindsay. Last I checked He doesn't want even one to perish (Matt 18:14) and I trust that if she truly discovers who He is and His heart for her she can be done with all the rest...just like everyone else who has fallen and come to see His incredible love.

Pam Stenzel and I's new book "Who's In Your Social Network" is available for preorder. It is dedicated to the influence of media, its impact, and encourages positive choices that will grow Godly character. (Including a chapter on pornography alone) I pray it will be a helpful resource for your personal life...and parents, for the discussions you must be having with your teens! The fun social networking writing style with teens' true stories, comments, and questions was a hit in book one and is certain to inspire again!

Gifting Our Children

2011-12-05T18:54:00.001-08:00

This poem needs little introduction. Tucked inside Grace's bag by her incredible teacher, I knew as I read it I needed to pay the encouragement forward. We can get busy this time of year in the name of saught after gifts, but what our little ones desire most is our hearts.

Gifts Money Can't Buy

What shall we give the children,

now that the holidays are almost here?

Toys, games and playthings

as we do every year?

Yes, for the magic of toyland

is part of the Yuletide lore,

To gladden the heart of childhood;

but I shall give something more.

I shall give them more patience,

a more sympathetic ear;

A little more time for laughter;

or tenderly dry a tear.

I shall take the time to teach them

the joy of doing some task;

I will try to find time to answer

How We're Adventing

2011-12-02T08:40:00.000-08:00

Our family has always used Advent calendars. They've come in different forms: chocolates, an adorable wooden countdown, and Monday Grace brought home the staple ring tearaway from school.

While I have always loved Advent countdowns because they help control the overwhelming excitement kids feel as Christmas approaches, this year we saught to make Advent about more than how many days are left until Christmas. This year we wanted to dig into the true spirit of Christmas and live the story so that when Christmas arrives we can celebrate the completion of a journey we've been experiencing all month long.

To do this, my husband and I used a desire we heard expressed from the kids as our springboard. Apparently last year we had candy canes on the tree. Although we didn't remember this, both of the older girls did and they wished to have them back. What kid wouldn't?! So, I went to the store and picked up candy canes, which, by the way, now come in a million different flavors. They love Smarties so I selected those and went home for a date night of sorts with my hubby.

With the kids in bed, we gathered Christmas paper and the Bible. Writing one verse from the story of Jesus' birth (Luke 2:1-20) on each piece of paper, we attached the note with ribbon and a number to each candy cane. Obviously there are more than 20 days to Advent, so the first candy cane's note explained what we were doing and that Jesus came as a baby because He loved them so much. Once all twenty verses are done, we wrote a couple discussion questions and we will end on Christmas with a note that says "Merry Christmas. Sing Happy Birthday to Jesus."

Yesterday the girls woke up SUPER EXCITED. Grace turned the calendar page and immediately broke out in "Christmas is coming. Christmas is coming. I can't wait!" Hannah joined in the excitement... and then they noticed the tree. At first they were simply excited to see the return of candy canes, especially ones that had pink in them. :) But, when we explained that there would be something special on each note the joy escalated.

Last night at supper they got to find their first candy cane. Grace, who is six, read the note and asked to read each of the Scripture verses/notes for the rest of Advent. Melt my heart. This mama finds little voices reading the Word of the Lord EXTREMELY precious. We can't wait to feel the story all month long.

We will still use the adorable wooden countdown and Grace's paper paper tear away. Reminders all over all a good thing in a house with wee ones. But, getting into the true spirit of Christmas this Advent is going to be a blessed experience. I can already sense it.

Do you do anything unique for Advent? I'd love to hear about it!

Stylish Hair Fun {With a Giveaway}

2011-11-30T10:38:00.000-08:00

As a woman and mother to three girls, I think it is super fun when I find products that celebrate femininity in a stylish way so I'm thrilled to tell you about my new favorite etsy: hand made hair products from Love Bug Baby Boutique .

Recently, Hannah won a Love Bug Baby Boutique model search and these were made special for her. I LOVE this soft pink wrap

and the brighter one.

This headband has cool lines and Hannah, of course, loves the "diamonds" in all of them.

If you have a favorite animal or clothing line that you want something to match with, these are adorable options, are they not?

I first fell in love with this mom's stuff when my mom found these precious clips for Grace and Hannah at the sidewalk arts festival. My (adult) friend rocked one of these in a deep plum color for a reception and it looked awesome.

Ava got this wrap and clip. Great news! It was sized right for a baby head. Some swallow them up. Not Love Bug's! She also got a crochet hat. You can order the wraps, clips, and hats in any colors you want to mix and match as you desire.

Wraps, headbands, bows, hats, and clips galore are available at the Love Bug etsy shop and info on when Krista will be doing craft shows in your area can be found on her facebook fan page. These high quality, trendy products are perfect for those fresh out of the womb all the way into adulthood. I couldn't be more thankful to have made the discovery! Seriously, everything is charming.

AND, with the holidays right around the corner I'm excited to let you in on a special deal. Krista will include a free gift on any order you place through the end of the year when you refer to my blog in the my message to the seller box. Sooooooooooo.....look around her Etsy shop and get ordering! :)

A Mother’s Thanksgiving Prayer

2011-11-23T05:56:00.000-08:00

Dearest Lord,

Tonight I walked past the girls’ room. My hands were filled high with the fifth load of laundry and I was going through the mental checklist to prepare for our trip.

A heavy sigh from their room forced my head back.

I set the overflowing laundry basket down and smiled. You were wise to make children look so angelic when they sleep. Even on the most trying of days you right my mommy emotions when I look in and see those sweet, still, precious faces.

Sometimes I am guilty of wishing my kids to be robots. I want them to wake when I am ready. I wish for them to run on my time and listen the first time every time. When eight PM hits I want them to fall asleep instantly. Power off.

But these are children....

To finish reading my prayer post, please visit MODSquad

AND don't forget to enter the Ecclesiastes Bible Study giveaway. Only a little over a week left!

Look Who's Back in Town!

2011-11-20T18:27:00.000-08:00

My in-laws!

Charlie and I were high school sweethearts. His family moved here our junior year of high school and by the end of the year we were a couple. Prior to officially dating, we were good friends so we spent a lot of time with each other's families. I quickly found out why Charlie was so incredible. He came from great parents. They valued faith, family, and togetherness. From the beginning, I felt at home with them and was thankful to call them family the day Charlie and I wed.

Adding to the gift, our families quickly grew close to be close friends. After Charlie and I married we started fun traditions...like all worshipping on Christmas together and then sharing in a combined family meal. All the important life experiences were shared. It was golden.

When Grace was two, God called his parents to ministry in Pierre and from there to important work in Chicago. We were proud of their work and yet there was a hole. We are family people. We missed them in the church pew and at Sunday School performaces and dance recitals.

But today we give thanks to God who has called them into a new season of life. Sioux Falls is home once again. A house is purchased. They are moved in.

We can't wait to be able share suppers, drop by for quick hellos, maybe get a few more date nights when nama and hampa want some time with the girls :), and return to those simple family traditions that make life richer.

Welcome back, Gary & Andrea, we can't think of a better thanks to kick off Thanksgiving week than that of "welcome home" to you whom we so dearly love.

Dig Into Ecclesiastes with Stephanie Shott {A Bible Study Giveaway!}

2011-11-16T09:07:00.000-08:00

One of the many reasons that I'm grateful for social media is the opportunity to "meet" new, incredible people. Included in those people is Stephanie Shott. She's funny. She's a family girl. And, most important, she's the "real deal" when it comes to a faithful sister in Christ.

When her new Bible Study on the book of Ecclesiastes came out, I jumped at the opportunity to bless you all with a chance to meet her too. The study is called "Ecclesiastes: Understanding What Matters Most" and today she's here to tell you all about it. Even more exciting, she's giving away a copy to one of you!

Stephanie, what is your new Bible study about and what you hope readers will get out of completing it?

We all want to know our lives count. And in our Christian conversations we talk a lot about living for eternity and having an eternal perspective, yet if we are honest, we often live as if this life is all there is.

Eternity is real and it awaits each one of us. There are no escape clauses.

Understanding What Matters Most is a six week study through the book of Ecclesiastes. It’s a journey that gives the reader an opportunity to personally sift the gamut of real life experiences and define their lives by what matters most. There are questions designed to examine the heart and inspire application.

Although many avoid Ecclesiastes, it is chock-full of wisdom - not only for Solomon, but for each of us. However, there are three overriding lessons I pray that each reader will walk away with.

1. We all long to define our existence with significance, yet the only way to truly do that is to make our eternity intentional. It’s a minute by minute choice of the will to filter the way we respond to life through the lens of eternity. I pray that Understanding What Matters Most will equip each reader with the necessary tools to do just that. We're all looking for answers, and Ecclesiastes really helps us understand how to make decisions and deal with our circumstances based on what is and what is not important in light of eternity.

2. The study of Ecclesiastes is certainly not for sissies! It deals with real issues and real life circumstances. I hope that readers will grasp the concept of eternity and the reality of our ultimate day of reckoning; I pray the truth of that reality will help them live each day in light of THAT day.

3. A more subtle but profound lesson we can learn from this study is to see the grace of God at work in Solomon's life and understand that same grace is available to us. Solomon was the wisest man to walk the planet, yet he blew it big time! Solomon’s life is proof that wisdom doesn’t always equal perfection! The beautiful truth is that God still used Solomon, even after he failed. I hope readers never forget that God is so much bigger than our failure - that His love for us transcends our ability to mess things up - that as long as we have breath, He still has a plan for our lives and the days we are given under the sun.

Sounds wonderful! How did God lay this book on your heart to write?

When I began writing Understanding What Matters Most, I didn't begin in hopes of publishing a book. Understanding What Matters Most was birthed from my own place of need. It was during a time when God had called us to the mission field and my 19 year old son didn't feel led to go. My maternal heart began to wrestle with the details of the call. I didn’t have a problem with the going...it was the leaving that gripped my heart and clouded my view. Who was going to take care of him if something went wrong? What if he got hurt? What about our parents? I was trying desperately to make sense of that which didn't make sense at all.

That's when the Lord gently led me to Ecclesiastes and gave me a bird's-eye view of Solomon's own attempts to make sense of the details of his life. After he ran the gamut of life experiences, he understood what matters most. I knew I needed that kind of clarity. Not only for the circumstances surrounding our call to the mission field, but to help me walk through life with the imprint of eternity on my heart. My study of Ecclesiastes gave me the tools I needed to filter the essential from the non-essential in light of eternity. When God put it on my heart to send it to a publisher and they said yes, that’s when I knew He wanted to use it for more than just notes for a conference.

Who would most benefit from your study?

It’s primarily a Bible study for women. However, since I’m a veteran homeschool mom who remembers how hard it was to find a good Bible study for my children, I would also like to encourage homeschool moms to use it as a study for their high school students. What a great opportunity to walk through Ecclesiastes as they sit at Solomon’s feet and get a clear picture of how empty the pursuits of this life can be and how important it to live each day with eternity in view!

Awesome. How can my readers follow your writing or book you to speak at their events?

http://www.stephanieshott.com/

Where is the Bible study available?

http://tinyurl.com/6j9vqby (Amazon)
http://tinyurl.com/6cj2elt (Christianbook.com)
http://tinyurl.com/63obfhr (Barnes and Noble)
http://tinyurl.com/3kxhgql (Booksamillion.com)

Great! Thank you so much for taking the time to share, Stephanie. I'm so thankful you listened to God's voice and followed His call. I can't wait to see how He uses you and this study to inspire others.

Bio: Stephanie passionately conveys that women can trust Christ to be real in real life - regardless of where they are or what they are going through. From her own painful past, she reminds women that we are never too battered or broken for God.

Gifted and dynamic communicator, writer, and Women's Ministry Director. Down-to-earth speaking style is full of humor,enthusiasm,and a passion for God's word. Topics focus on: To know Christ, to grow in Christ, and to echo His heart to the world.

And now, Stephanie is going to graciously gift one of you lucky readers with one copy of this study. To enter to win please leave a comment in the comments with why you'd most like to read this study. Additional entry opportunities are available by 1) tweeting the link about this giveaway 2) sharing the post on facebook 3) following Stephanie's blog 4) officially following this blog (if you aren't yet). Be sure to leave a separate comment for each of the potential ways that you can enter to win with your name and email. The giveaway will remain open to anyone in the continental United States until Friday December 2 at noon central time.

***Congrats to #18! Random.org chose Tara (Created to be Beautiful), you are the winner of this wonderful new study. Enjoy! To all the rest, I pray you'll check into the study from one of the sites listed above :) ***

The CD No One Should Be Without! {The Story}

2011-11-12T07:50:00.000-08:00

Raise your hand if you like Mark Hall (Casting Crowns), Steven Curtis Chapman, Natalie Grant, Mandisa, Amy Grant, Chris Tomlin, Francesca Battistelli, Todd Smith (Selah), Jeremy Camp, Bart Millard, Matthew West, Nichole Nordeman....

What? You love them all?

Me too. And guess what? These fine artists and many more are all part of a new album entitled "The Story." Angie Smith blogged about it with such enthusiasm that I had to check it out.

And I was blown away. Talk about a rockstar compilation of Christian artists!!!

Based off Max Lucado and Randy Frazee's writing, Nichole Nordeman and Bernie Harms lifted the voices of the Biblical people that shape our Christian foundation and placed us inside their heads.

When I read Scripture I can be guilty of reading through the story without putting myself inside the individual's shoes. And yet, if I claim a faith inspired by this history, it is so important to really think through the place and emotion of the people that mold our foundation.

Seriously, as I listen I find myself relating to the thief (Steven Curtis Champman) in my own life. I'm empowered by Esther's (Mandisa) guts. I'm tenderly encouraged my the faith filled Job (Todd Smith) who lives intense suffering. Having walked through losing his baby girl, that assignment rings genuine through his vocals. I could go on and on but the point is every song hits me because the heart of Scripture comes alive - including Jesus' (Mac Powell)heart for you. Sidenote: Grab a tissue.

The whole album can be yours with one simple click. And, if you are super lucky you can attend "The Story" tour and part of the proceeds from that will benefit World Vision, which you all know I gave mad props to early this week because they meet their goals and transform lives. Please don't tell me if you attend because I'd be insanely jealous...or do I'll pretend to live it through you. :)

With Christmas coming up, I just wanted to make sure you were all in "the know."

photo credit

Goodbye Forever

2011-11-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

If there is one thing I’m not good at it is goodbyes. When I form a relationship, I’m in it for the long haul.

About five years ago my eyes first locked on Andrea’s. Her big brown eyes seemed to beckon me through the computer screen and I could not look away.

She was adorable.

The weekend before I’d been at a Women of Faith conference. While there, they spoke about their partnership with World Vision. Although I’d been to WOF before and heard of their ministry, this year I came home feeling called to form a relationship with a child. Maybe it was the message from my sweet one year old saying “mama” into my phone. Maybe it was the thought that my baby girl was comfortable in a heated home full of hope with her amazing father while a baby girl elsewhere lived in a hut the size of my closet while her parents prayed for hope.

Two children born into two very different situations resulting in two very different lives.

Andrea shared Grace’s birthday and as my husband looked over World Vision’s materials he simply said, “Let’s do it.” A sponsorship was born. I have to admit, I didn’t expect our $30 per month to be life changing but, in my mind, that I was okay. If World Vision could use our dollars as a vehicle to help put food on their table, provide access to medical care, and give hope, that was sufficient.

Cecilia (Andrea’s mother) and I began to communicate. We’d write letters to one another and share about our families. As our girls grew, they entered into the conversations, growing excited about the lives of their friend afar. My girls drew pictures, told her about snow, and imagined living in a place so warm it never fell. Each time a World Vision envelope found its way to our mailbox opportunity seemed to multiply in Equador while joy swelled here in South Dakota.

Right before the girls’ sixth birthday another World Vision letter arrived. Quickly and excitedly, I opened the letter to read the grace filled note from a woman who had found her way into my heart.

But it wasn’t from her. It was from World Vision. The project goals were met. Andrea’s family was self sufficient.

Overwhelmed, I began to cry. I cried because I hadn’t written more. I cried because a relationship that had taken root was no longer going to grow. I cried because I didn’t want to tell the girls they couldn’t draw any more pictures for Andrea. AND, I cried because World Vision was so much more than I’d ever believed they could be. Using what couldn’t even buy us one dinner out, World Vision had walked alongside the community and taught the people to garden and breed animals. They transformed a destitute community into a more educated, self-sufficient community. Andrea and her family had grasped the hope they once dreamed of.

After we told the girls, they drew last pictures and we wrote a note sharing our heart. Shortly thereafter, we heard from Cecilia and she happily signed off “Goodbye forever!”

I couldn’t help but smile.

This month as we count our blessings, we graciously include World Vision because they made believers out of us. With the right people and the proper teaching, dire poverty can be broken. This is a goodbye worth celebrating.

Goodbye forever, Andrea and family. Hello, sweet Nayely. Your first letter with child artwork will be arriving soon. :)

Parents of Boys, Welcome to the HPV Vaccine Dilemma

2011-10-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

Parents of boys may soon experience the same vaccine dilemma parents of girls have lived for the last few years. Should we give our child the HPV (human papillomavirus) vaccine? Announced earlier today, a government advisory panel is now suggesting that males aged 11-12 get the three shot series.

Unlike many vaccines, this one promotes heated discussion because it crosses ethical dilemmas and religious convictions. The push to vaccinate kids before schools have even introduced them to integers and information on potential scary side effects to this relatively new vaccine leaves parents in a quandary.

From a medical perspective, I understand why they want to vaccinate early. Merck has been very honest that for the vaccine to be effective it must be given BEFORE any exposure to the disease. And, with students experimenting at younger ages, the age of vaccination necessarily goes down.

But it’s a tough choice. We have these tiny little people that God has entrusted to us and we love with all our hearts. We want to make right decision. And, I can’t tell you what that is. Sorry if you were looking for an easy answer. In fact, I will be the first to admit that I’m thankful I still have some years to watch the research, talk with trusted pediatricians, and pray about it before we have to make a choice for our girls.

Either way, getting the facts straight is critical. I’m concerned the name “HPV vaccine” will cause a false perception of what the shot series actually protects from. It is NOT a vaccine to protect from all HPV. While over 100 strains of HPV exist (over 30 of which are transmitted sexually), this vaccination is meant to protect from four types- 6, 11, 16, and 18. (Interestingly enough, prevention for 16 & 18 in males was just approved in December 2010). Do the math and you’ll quickly realize that HPV will still exist, as will warts, cervical, penile, anal and throat cancer. This is not a get out of HPV free card.

Sadly, condoms aren’t going to be the solution either. Since HPV is a skin to skin contact disease and latex can’t cover the entire genital region, young ones will still be infected and lives will be forever changed. This may be one reason more than one in two sexually active singles become infected with HPV. Even those trying to be “safe” aren’t.

As parents, we must recognize that the solution, the real get out of HPV free card, is found in risk elimination NOT risk reduction. For our sons and daughters to escape this threat, they must honor a NO GENITAL CONTACT before marriage boundary, vaccinated or not. We need to teach our kids not to rely on three little shots but to stand confident in Godly character. Boys must be taught that respecting healthy boundaries will help his date to feel safe and protect his future wife. Girls must find joy and beauty in hiding what God meant to be treasure for her future spouse alone. This is our job…to train up a child in the way he should go (Prov 22:6)…not to say yes to a shot, zip our mouths, and hope our children will dodge a bullet.

I’m not saying vaccinating for HPV is wrong (that is a decision to made between individual parents and God) or that kids raised in Christian homes won’t make ungodly choices. I am saying that the medical community wasn’t called to do our job. WE need to help our children understand that their bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19) and, consequently, they need to demand respect for themselves and show that same respect to others around them. WE need to be educated so that we can have the critical conversations with our kids about this topic and we must address it often so that our children continue to see us as the “go-to” person in their lives. Most of all, we must stay dialed into our Life Line, the Lord, so that we can act in His wisdom and feel confident in our parenting choices.

I find the most fascinating piece of this “push” to be the overt acknowledgement that they took a new look at the male vaccine recommendations not only because they are concerned about the boys’ health, but because they are concerned about transmission to girls who are not being vaccinated at the numbers they hoped for. Will boy parents buy into this reasoning? Will they be more receptive to the vaccine than girl parents apparently have been? Time will tell.

For more education and to help grow your teens in character, I would encourage you to read and then share Nobody Told Me with your teen. Their eyes will be opened to the truth and the voices of their peers will encourage them to make healthy choices.

What Feeds Your Soul?

2011-10-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

This is the question the wise Luci Swindoll posed at this year’s Women of Faith.

I’ve been quiet in this space this month. It has been a crazy month to say the least. Pam and I have been working on final wording and graphics for Who’s In Your Social Network. I’ve jumped into the room mom role and have been researching and working with two other amazing moms to create a fun fall party for our sweet kindergarteners this Friday. The crisis pregnancy center that I volunteer with has required creative energy. And, on top of that, there is life. You know, like preparing meals, doing laundry, playing duck duck goose in the living room. :)

I can’t imagine a better life and yet, as a woman, I tend to think about everyone else before myself. That is why I thoroughly enjoyed attending Women of Faith IMAGINE this weekend. Women of Faith is my yearly “me” trip and I can’t imagine any better way to feed my soul.

If you’ve never been, I highly suggest gathering some girlfriends and road trippin’ it to the nearest event. As if car trips and pajama parties aren’t enough to seal a deal, the messages are life transforming.

Nicole Johnson referred to the event as the washing up of the misfits. It’s an arena full of women – no one perfect, each with their own story and “stuff” - but all passionate about their love for Christ. That in and of itself would be enough for me. But, as the thousands laugh and cry together a sisterhood is formed.

The first year that my mom went she came back with the packet on fire to talk about every speaker and vocal artist. I thought she was crazy until I experienced it for myself the next year. I fell in love and have been a group leader for seven years since. Obviously I’d love to go on and on about each person’s message and the power in it, but I don’t want to spoil your surprise when you go.

Hint. Hint.

I would say this.

No speaker at this conference will put on a pretty face and tell you how to be the perfect Christian. No speaker will preach at you and pretend to be without flaw. Rather, they will be vulnerable and transparent, combining their honest pain and valuable life experiences with faith-filled knowledge to blanket you in the One who sees you, knows you, and loves you far greater than you could ever “imagine.”

It doesn’t matter if you come feeling on top of the world, worn out, or unlovable. You will leave velcroed to Kyrios {The One to Whom I Belong} and confident of your immeasurable worth.

An added gift to the weekend was meeting Angie Smith, who actually gave me the most fun Greek lesson of my life during her talk.

Her blog, Bring the Rain, is without question my favorite blog ever and if you aren’t following it start NOW! Trust me, you'll thank me. (And be sure to go back and read this post because it's incredible.) Angie and I are twitter friends so it was fun to step out of the virtual communication world and give her neck a big squeeze in real life.

My batteries were spiritually recharged. My soul has been fed. I’m ready for the demands of everyday life…and I can’t wait for the fun to be had at Women of Faith “Celebrate” 2012.

Photo credit for WOF logo

Pre-order Who's In Your Social Network

2011-10-11T06:10:00.000-07:00

You know when you're having a ho-hum morning and you pull on a pair of jeans only to discover an unexpected dollar bill in the pocket unearthing mega excitement?

That is how I felt in my own life yesterday.

My day was going along as normal when I received communication about a potential interview for Pam and my new book: Who's In Your Social Network. At first I was confused. Not wanting to up the ante on something not yet available, Pam and I haven't even revealed the amazingly designed cover for this new treasure yet. Why do an interview if we can't direct people to get it?

And then we discovered that it is now available for preorder on Amazon and Barnes & Noble! {Note that they both have a pre-order sale price right now...bonus!}

I couldn't contain my excitement. Squealing with joy, I attempted to share my happiness with my 4 year old and five month old girls who merely thought I'd lost my marbles so I phoned a more understanding crowd and shared the news with my husband. :)

This book is a break out on the media chapter of Nobody Told Me. Written in the same cool social networking like style, it covers all things media - movies, TV, music, pornography, social networking, etc.

And it is a must have for the teenagers in your life.

Media is like our diet. Just like food is a necessary part of life, media is a necessary part of our culture. All of us use it. None of us can avoid it, nor should we But, the type of media we consume will determine the way our character looks.

Inside the pages are powerful stories from students and adults who have learned the hard way, honest questions, a challenge for each teen to personally assess their own media diet, practical guidelines for healthy boundaries, and incredible examples of positive media and teens using it to change this world for God's glory.

According to a recent study, today's teens consume an average of 7.5 hours of media per day. When taking multitasking into account, that number jumps to 10 hours and 45 minutes. That is a lot of influence on one's thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors. Make sure the student you love gets the help they need to effectively think through their media choices so that they can exercise wisdom and walk in His ways!

And now, for the big cover reveal that you've all been waiting for

Isn't it cool?!

For those who use the links to pre-order, know the book is scheduled to be released the first week of January 2012. We pray it will bless your families.

Photo Credit

31 Days of Prayer for our Girls

2011-09-30T09:01:00.000-07:00

"Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?" Corrie Ten Boom

Life as a mother can be overwhelming. Each day our girls face heartbreak and joy. There is drama and there is peace. There is success and there is failure. Many times there are big questions about navigating the waters of life situations and/or how circumstances fit into the big picture of faith.

And all of this happens quickly. In fact, if your home is anything like mine, it seems to snowball each day and then get thrown at you all at once.

How do you respond?

If you are anything like me your mind can spin in the intensity of the moment looking for a response that honors Him, encourages her, and promotes peace. And, if nothing comes then you offer up a quick prayer hoping for an immediate response.

But this is admittedly NOT the best approach. I need to start each day bathing my children in prayer so that I experience the comfort in knowing I'm being directed by God's Word and responding to every situation in His strength rather than my own. It makes for less stressful parenting.

Like anything in life, our responses are born out of habit and I'm thrilled to tell you that MODSquad is here to your rescue, helping you to place your daughter in God's hands first everyday with their new October series - 31 Days of Prayer for our Girls

MODSquad is an awesome community of moms walking along side one another to raise girls with intergrity and hearts for the Lord. It's been my honor to be a monthly writer for this group of moms who are so honest about everything from the issues of motherhood that make us want to pull our hair out to moments that make us smile so hard our face hurts. It is such an uplifting, encouraging space to be real and grow.

I hope you'll join MODSquad for this incredible month of posts. Each day will have a topic, bible verse, and a prayer. You can subscribe, have the posts emailed to you, or follow on Facebook. All the important details are here.

As today's post reminds, "The effective prayer of a righteous {mom} can accomplish much." James 5:16

Macaroni and Cheese & the Big Life Lessons

2011-09-28T05:34:00.000-07:00

It was a day unlike most others. The laundry was piled up, dishes needed to be emptied from the dishwasher, and lunch needed to made. From a mother’s perspective, this is work. Through the eyes of my four year old, however, this is fun.

I like her viewpoint better.

Throwing the darks overhead like a basketball into the washer, Hannah laughed in amusement. After folding the freshly dried whites, she walked with purpose, delivering the clothes to their proper “home.” And, she beamed while unloading the lower level of the dishwasher all by herself.

These homemaking projects indicate growth and independence in her world...

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Black Bean Corn Avacado Salsa

2011-09-23T09:58:00.000-07:00

Recently I got a wild hair and decided to tackle homemade salsa. Unfortunately I didn’t have any recipes so I did what any rational person in 2011 would do. I tweeted requests for corn and black bean salsa. :) To my surprise, my friend Jess responded with a recipe that was literally Christmas to my taste buds so now I’m sharing it with all of you.

Let’s get started!

Black Bean Corn Avacado Salsa

2 can super sweet yellow/white corn
2 cans black beans, drained and rinsed
1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes or fresh tomato
1 bunch finely chopped cilantro (I’m not a cilantro girl so I left this out)
1 small red onion, finely chopped
1 finely chopped fresh jalapeno (remove seeds) I promise this is not at all hot in the salsa!
1 tablespoon minced garlic
¼ cup lime juice
2 avocados – peeled, pitted, and diced
Salt to taste

Mix all the above ingredients together and dip with your favorite chip!

This makes enough to feed the 5000 so if you’re making it for a gathering, you’re golden. If, on the other hand, you are making it as a fun starter for your family (of 5 or less) I’d suggest halving the recipe.

ENJOY and have a great weekend! We are set for some quality family time and I’m reading through the design pass of book two from our editor. Exciting posts will be coming your way in the next few months!

Little Kids, Kissing, & Dating

2011-09-19T05:48:00.001-07:00

Recently a friend wrote me. While her daughter was in preschool, she witnessed two kids kissing and came home to proudly profess that she was going to ask a boy out the next day and wondered if he would kiss her. Trying to remain calm, cool, & collective (although inside going through the roof), she told her daughter that we save our kisses and then got online to ask me what to do.

My work with Pam means that I help provide a lot of relationship counsel to teens and their parents. Sadly, tweens are becoming a more and more popular age group with serious questions. But, to hear that four year olds have "ask him out" in their vocabulary gave even me pause.

I suppose it should come as no surprise. We live in a culture that promotes dating relationships from the get go. I've witnessed mothers say to their toddler child, "Is she your girlfriend?" or "That one is your boyfriend?" numerous times.

Because of my work in the CPC, we've avoided this. I've seen what happens to a girl who from the beginning gets the message that her value comes from being claimed by some boy and that having a boyfriend is necessary. They are the ones glued to their boyfriends while their friendships fail. And, they are the ones crying in fear as they await their pregnancy test result all the while explaining that they thought "love" meant crossing all sorts of dangerous boundaries.

From the time our children are born, we are sending them messages. Some would argue that these jokes are harmless, but I would say quite the opposite. Think about all the messages we send them when they are toddlers: how to sit still at the table (manners), to address others with care (respect), to act nicely to the people around them (love). The list goes on and on. Their brains are like sponges and we know this so we teach them when they are young attitudes and behaviors to live out through adulthood. Why do we think dating should be any different?

Society's model of dating shows that this attitude is prevalent. Kids talk about boyfriends/girlfriends before they even know what it is. Young girls are wearing future Mrs. Bieber shirts prior to understanding what makes a good spouse. They carry on into real life the "joke" adults laid before them early on. Boys feel macho because they can say they have a girl. Girls feel valued because she can say she's caught someone's eye. They date whoever asks, lack boundaries and make mistakes or realize once they are into this relationship that their values are being pressured and, ultimately, they walk away feeling hurt that "love" didn't feel so good.

Hence we don't joke about it or wear clothes that aren't age appropriate.

But all of our kids are going to hear the words or see children model something they heard or saw on TV. So then what?

I advised my friend first and foremost to tell the teacher what her daughter saw. No matter what, day care providers, teachers, playground safety, etc. NEEDS to know what is happening so the behavior can be stopped. I'm fairly confident that no facility with children this young would view this behavior acceptable.

And then there is the message for all, whether you've been the parent that "joked" or not. You can use these opportunities to send messages about what you DO want your child's dating to one day be.

Last week Grace heard the word "boyfriend." Apparently a little boy had his lips a-flappin trying to kiss some girl who said, "Don't. I have a boyfriend." When I asked if she knew what boyfriend meant and she said "no," I knew I could start sending messages to mold her future.

"Boyfriends are people you think that you could marry and until we are old enough to think about marriage God wants us to just be friends and not kiss."

As she grows older and can understand more, we will expand on that, talking about the ages that dating is appropriate, only entering into a relationship with someone that shares a deep love for Christ and genuinely respects her, and, of course, Godly boundaries.

Surely this doesn't mean that she (or her sisters) will never make mistakes, but it does mean that from a young age her dating mentality will run contrary to the "whoever asks" model. She is free to continue finding joy in being claimed by the One who made her and experience peace knowing she has caught the eye of her Savior. And, if she continues to trust His definition of love she will avoid the pain so many of her peers won't.

Clearly the message is setting in. She heard the word again the other day in a book about her student teacher (who is engaged) and said "That means he would be the kinda boy she would marry. Right, mom?" And, when that little boy with his lips a-flappin tried to get near my girl, he was immediately told "no" and then given a talking to about appropriate behavior by an adult.

Our words matter. Send messages to your children today that will build the framework for a healthy tomorrow.

A Domestic Diva Style Birthday Party

2011-09-14T05:21:00.001-07:00

Birthdays were made to be celebrated and last weekend we had two in our house!

Since the older girls are so close in age, have the same friends (for now), and like similar things, we had a joint party for our two little domestic divas.

They LOVE to cook.

Because God created them with this interest, I feel that every opportunity to enhance the skill is an investment in their future. One day they will move out and having this knowledge will benefit them as a young single woman (and prayerfully as a Christian wife and mother).

So, thanks to the inspiration of my wise friend who did a lasagna making birthday party with older girls, we decided to make it into a party theme. The girls each made their own personal pan pizza.

Prior to their arrival, my husband and I taped waxed paper to our dining room table, filled bowls with various pizza toppings, and made individual sized pizza crusts. Once they were all to our home, they picked places to sit and started making pizza to their liking. Since they are young, we had all sorts of creativity

Hannah’s looked like a face

Grace’s was a flower

Another interesting face

And of course there were pizzas simply filled high with lots of cheese and topping goodness.

While waiting, they swung at a colorful piñata. For some reason, this Target purchase was near impossible to break open so following many attempts both blind folded and not, Grace went to get daddy and the girls broke out in a supportive chant. “Charlie, Charlie…”

Check out that MLB form! :) After a few powerful swings, he was successful and candy poured out for a little take home sugar treat.

The girls loved their finished pizza product and were all very proud of their domestic accomplishment, talking about and showing each other their masterpieces. And, as we watched, we could do nothing but smile because a financially frugal party designed solely to play off their interests ended up promoting self confidence and a desire to get in the kitchen to do more.

Success.

{Peanut Product Free} Cake Pops!

2011-09-09T06:22:00.000-07:00

The dilemma: Your child wants to take cake pops to school for their birthday but there is a peanut allergy in the class.

The solution: This recipe!

Today is my daughter's sixth birthday. She really wanted to make cake pops, however, one of the children in her class has a peanut allergy. Although individual's allergies are not the responsibility of other parents, these kids are in kindergarten. And, if I can make something that everyone can eat that would be my desire. After all, no child wants to be singled out as the kid that can't partake in the treat fun.

My research led me to two conclusions. 1) I have the utmost respect for people that live with peanut allergies. It seems that nearly every product has some kind of peanut, peanut oil, or is made in a place that has peanut products. The time needed to figure out a healthy diet and the options within that diet are limited. 2) There is not a lot of good, fun kid birthday friendly recipes available online. I did over two hours of research online and tweeted with some parents of children that have peanut allergies to come up with this solution. Then I emailed Grace's teacher the ingredients for her to forward to the child's mom to confirm that it was in fact okay.

So, for my fellow moms, I am posting this recipe. It will make your life easier and save you a lot of time! That said, check the boxes when you do go to make this to make sure nothing in the products or factories has changed since this post date.

You will need:

Betty Crocker Super Moist Cake Mix (Party Rainbow Chip)

Betty Crocker Rich and Creamy Cream Cheese Frosting

Dec a Cake Non-Pareils Sprinkles

Bakers Semi-sweet chocolate squares

Having peanut free products, I used this recipe as a springboard for the cake pop fun.

To make it:

1) Bake the cake according to directions on the cake mix box. After the cake is cooked and cooled, crumble the cake into a very large bowl.

Now look at your fingers! If you have not taken off your jewelry now is the time to do so because it is about to get very messy!

2) Mix 1 can of frosting (with your hands) into the bowl of crumbled up cake. Once it is thoroughly mixed, refrigerate the mixture for 15 minutes.

3) Roll mixture into 1 inch balls and lay on a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil .

You do not want to make them larger because the stick will not be able to hold the weight of the cake. I had a few "flops" with the ones that were even slightly larger.

4) Chill in the freezer for 30 - 40 minutes.

5) Stick the lollipop sticks into them (not all the way to the top though) and cover them in melted chocolate. Stick them into a styrofoam block to dry.

6) While the chocolate is still "wet" decorate with sprinkles.

After they have dried, cover them in candy bags and close it off with a twisty or ribbon or whatever you choose. You can get those products at a cake specialty store.

I made the twisty into hearts because I'm a geek like that. :)

If you do not have a peanut allergy to consider, you can make this recipe with any brand cake mix and frosting. You could also you chocolate almond bark to save on money for dipping chocolate. And, obviously, you could decorate with any candy or drizzle with a different color dipping chocolate.

Grace and Hannah helped me make them but they weren't completely set until after they had gone to bed.

But as you can see, she was very excited when she saw the finished product this morning. Plus, not only were they the cake pops she asked for, but they were brown and today just happens to be brown day at school. Double bonus!

You Are Never Beyond Hope

2011-09-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

It was filled with color. A kind of floral fantasy that beckoned you nearer to study its rainbow of vibrant shades and appreciate the unique blossoms only an artistic God could design.

Noticing that the wave petunia stole my eye, my mother said, "It's yours. Happy Mother's Day."

My mother has a green thumb. Her gardens are always filled with color, shape, and trimmed perfection. Fast forward your mind to a Better Homes and Gardens look and there you have her back yard.

I pick it up and silently pray that I can maintain its beauty.

When I get the gift home, I proudly display the flower on my front entrance for all to see.

And then my crazy life happens. Children need my time, laundry requires my attention, book deadlines must be met, scorching heat keeps me from bringing the newborn out and suddenly what was once breath-taking looks like a pot of tiny dead sticks.

Oops. That's all I can say about that.

Every time I drive out of the driveway or play with the girls I think I've got to get rid of that eye sore. But I never get around to it. So there it sits in all its ugliness beyond a point of redemption.

Or so I think.

Until one day the girls ask to play sidewalk chalk. As I'm laying there getting my body traced, a blossom catches my eye.

It can't be.

Sure enough, there in the pot is evidence of a gorgeous petunia bursting forth.

And it was almost like God said, "Nothing is ever beyond redemption to me."

Smiling, I gave the flower a drink and began attempting to make what was once dead vibrant once more.

As I put the watering can down, I wondered what our lives would look like, how we would feel, if we truly believed God could do the same for us.

Have you ever felt weak, worn down, or lost? Has a decision you've made or something that has happened in your life caused you to spiritually wilt or emotionally die?

There is good news for all of us. The same artistic God that made the beautiful blossoms also created a depth of beauty in you. Your uniqueness steals His eye and He will work to bring forth new splendor when the furnace of life threatenes to steal your God-made glow.

We are works in progress always loved, always nurtured, and always filled with potential to live redeemed, vibrant lives.

Where Are Your Eyes?

2011-08-31T05:13:00.000-07:00

Last week our nation was glued to the television as Hurricane Irene approached US soil. Where would it hit? At what speed? What could be done to prepare? Did everyone have enough batteries and water?

Now we watch airlifts take food to cut off towns and hear people struggle with insurance reimbursements in the aftermath of her trail. News footage was and is of people scurrying around frantic and overwhelmed by this life situation.

I’ve never endured a hurricane. As a Midwesterner, the very thought of one freaks me out. But, I have lived situations outside of my control that have raised my blood pressure and induced panic.

Haven’t we all?

While watching footage, I looked up the meaning of the name Irene. Years ago I was in charge of games at a baby shower. Since I’m not into tasting baby food or putting funny stuff into diapers, I decided to make my own game. After looking up the meaning of everyone’s name that would be attending the shower, I created a mix and match of people’s names and their meanings. Obviously, the person with the most correct matches won.

The game was a hit. Most people didn’t know the meaning of their own name so it created a fun conversation piece.

Needless to say, I was surprised when I discovered Irene to mean “peace.” Clearly naming storms is solely about a name that correctly fits the letter and nothing beyond that because natural disasters never bring peace to those living them.

But there is another One whose name translates to peace – Jehovah Shalom. First named in Judges, Gideon is threshing wheat in private to hide from the invaders. And he is clearly scared and frustrated by all happening around him. Like you have probably uttered a time or two yourself (or at very minimum heard from a friend), he says, “if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13).

For anyone unfamiliar with the rest of the story, Gideon asked for a sign that God was talking to him and went to prepare an offering for his guest. When he returned, the angel had him place the food offering on the rock, touched the end of his staff to it, and the food engulfed in flames – a miracle indicating God’s presence (Judges 6:17-20).

And this raises our question. Which has your primary focus? Irene or Christ? The hurricane in your own life (whether it be health uncertainty, financial struggles, work stress, broken relationships, natural disasters, etc) or your Jehovah Shalom?

In any area of distress we should do what we can to prepare, but where we then place our eyes will determine the peace we experience.

If our focus is solely on our situation - our storm - we cannot experience peace. We will run in circles trying to control what we cannot and expend all of our emotional energy fearing an outcome we do not yet know. But, if our eyes are on Him, we can slow down and do what we need to do when He calls us to do it. We can stop a spinning mind fast in its tracks and successfully take every thought captive. Even in the storm we can relax.

This is so beautifully illustrated in a version of the 23rd Psalm from Japan that Joanna Weaver shares in Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World

The Lord is my Pace Setter
The Lord is my pace setter…I
shall not rush
He makes me stop for quiet intervals
He provides me with
images of stillness which restore my serenity
He leads me in a way of
efficiency through calmness of mind and his guidance is peace
Even though I
have a great many things to accomplish each day, I will not fret, for his
presence is here
His timelessness, his all importance will keep me in
balance
He prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity by
anointing my mind with his oils of tranquility
My cup of joyous energy
overflows
Truly harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruits of my hours
for I shall walk in the Pace of my Lord and dwell in his house for ever.

Certainly storms will crash our lives but we choose if our emotions follow an earthly situation or the Word of a divine God. He promises, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).

Peace in the storm. I love that.

In Him there is confidence in every step, a purpose in every action, and a unique calm every second of the day because we are operating in His strength rather than our own and, as a result, we walk victoriously.

We can only look one place at a time, however. I pray my gaze is steadfast on Jehovah Shalom. You?

A Night to Remember

2011-08-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my dear friend and co-author Pam Stenzel came to Sioux Falls.

Pam and I first met thirteen years ago. As a college sophomore I was exposed to her talk and inspired by her message. Shortly thereafter we met at a Perkins and the trajectory of my life changed. I began working in a local crisis pregnancy center and upon graduation started writing with Pam.

Eleven years of ministry help and curriculum development have passed and now we have our first book together - NOBODY TOLD ME. Being a voice of truth in a culture that perpetuates lies, we've taken actual emails of students questions, comments, and stories to expose lived consequences of sexual sin, provide needed education that many have never heard, and, most importantly, promote the goodness of God's design. Teens, parents, and all who work with youth are totally digging it.

Because we are in two very different seasons of life, Pam and I are rarely in the same place. Geographical distance divides our homes and she travelling the globe speaking to over a half million teens per year while I am leading the life of a young stay at home mom with three beautiful little girls. Our work together is done primarily by phone and email with an occassional trip here and there.

Last night Pam came my direction. Brought to Sioux Falls by Planning Life (crisis pregnancy center), she hit it out of the park to a crowd of many. People vacillated between wiping away tears to knee slapping laughter and lives were changed. Students sat between their parents and as they listened new avenues of communication opened. An area teen MOPS group came and left empowered to make new choices in the future. Educators, doctors, and counselors were empowered with new discussion tools. Youth groups and young dating couples left with much to discuss. And the stories attendees discussed with us....well gut wrenching is not adequate to describe them. Pam rocks and everyone just loved her to pieces.

After Pam finished speaking, we gifted some lucky winners with our book and then we did our first joint book signing. We met so many neat people and I got to reconnect with my favorite nurse who brought her daughter and a high school classmate who came with some girls from her church's youth group. Seriously, the smile was glued on my face!

I praise God for the work Planning Life does in our community and the center's effort to gift people in the area with a positive message. You should all follow the CPC on Facebook to stay "in the know" for future events that are certain to bless you. And, I thank God for bringing Pam into my life. Yes she is the best speaker I have ever heard and yes being her co-author is one of my greatest priveleges, but I count her friendship as one of my greatest blessings. I love that she has a heart for God that always has her prepared for deep, heartfelt spiritual discussions yet her everyday down-to-earth style makes her fun to laugh and hang with. My kids will tell you the same. Pam got a boost in the cool meter, if that is possible, when she brought them a fun connecter, construction straw set yesterday. I'm pretty sure they will be wanting to consume liquids all day. :)

I love her. I love our work. And, as my heart bursts with happiness for the many ways God worked last night, I know this will go down as a night to remember.

Make sure to follow Pam on Facebook to find out when she will be in your community. You won't want to miss her!

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What Do You See in the Mirror?

2011-08-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

Three way mirrors.

Three little words that invoke a multitude of emotion from the youngest of girls to the oldest of women.

On the one hand, we love this invention. It provides a real view of what our potential purchase looks like all the way around. On the other hand, we hate this invention for the very same reason. Regardless of a person’s body type, it has the capability of triggering major mental trauma.

Last weekend I braved the crowds...

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We Have a Kindergartener

2011-08-22T16:12:00.000-07:00

And she was clothed in love.

When I was growing up my grandma bought me new clothes for my first day of school each year. Now that I have my own children my mom asked if she could carry on the tradition which took no time to think through...um, YES!

Grace chose this adorable bee outfit.

She coordinated from head to toe thanks to Gymboree's uber complete line.

There was not on ounce of hesitation on her end. She was so excited. Mom and dad's hearts, on the other hand, were flip flopping a litle bit.

It was my goal to "be strong" in front of Grace, but she foiled my plans when she started singing skinamarinky dinky dink to me by the flag pole. Yep, the tears fell.

Once we were inside, Grace found her spot right away and happily bid us farewell.

Praise be to God the day was a success. When I arrived to pick her up, I was suprised to find my hubby there to greet us. Grace told us all about making a picture of herself in her outfit, learning the school song, playing games, meeting new friends, and the list goes on.

Tonight when we were picking her outfit for tomorrow, she said, "I wish I had a shirt that said, 'I love my teacher.'" And, she is sitting at the table right now making her a picture. Obviously she made a big impact in only one day's time.

Thank the Lord for people with gifts and patience to educate little people. Clearly we are in for a wonderful year.

The Lunch Box

2011-08-21T06:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Grace,

On the table right now sits a lunch box ready to be packed for the very first time. Unlike all the rest of the items we purchased for kindergarten, this one causes a prolonged stare and forces me to catch my breath. The school box is a rite of passage. For the first time in your life, you will be away from me going to school all day.

And I can’t believe we got here so quickly.

One day that comment will most certainly cause you to roll your eyes and growl a “mo-om.” It always did for me. But now my mom doesn’t seem so off her rocker.

It feels like just yesterday that your dad and I were a spry young couple looking for our very first home. He wanted to quit throwing money into rent with nothing to show for it and we both very much wanted a baby.

We were praying for you nine years ago.

Our desire for you guided our home search. We wanted yard space for you to play. We wished for a low traffic street so that you would be safe. We preferred a quiet neighborhood in walking distance to a library, pool, and park for us to enjoy. Most of all, we hoped to be in a particular school district for you to attend elementary school.

When we finally got pregnant with you, we were over the top excited. Well, except for the crazy sick part but you were totally worth it. :) We painted your room, bought all the baby stuff, and began to imagine life with a baby.

Soon our dream became our reality. One night when I awoke my water broke and I knew that meant you would be here within 24 hours. I woke your father and told him that it was time to go. He asked me if I was sure and I said yes, at which point he quickly followed up with, “Can I take a shower first?” Apparently he wanted to look good for your grand entry into the world. On the way to the hospital, I became overwhelmed. What would life look like with you in it? In between contractions I uttered, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

But after a long labor and a few stressful moments I heard your cry and all I wanted to do was hold you. I was ready. I had been ready for years and finally God had answered our prayers. Looking at your daddy, I saw a tear run down his cheek as he announced, “We have a girl.”

When they put you on my chest I had the tears. She’s beautiful. And I was in love. You put your tiny fingers around mine and I knew I only wanted to be with you. After you nursed your daddy picked you up again. As I watched him adore you, I fell in love with him in a whole new way. Our whole world changed for the better

And it feels like just yesterday.

But it wasn’t. You are growing quickly and somehow it is already time to send you off to this school we thought about nine years ago. Whoa.

Being home with you has been an incredible gift. Seeing your every “first,” playing games, taking walks to the park, reading books to you and now you reading them to me, snuggling on the couch, tickling you so that I can hear that amazing infectious laugh…it has become my everyday joy.

And now, as much as I want to hold you, I’m happy to hand you your lunch box and let you go to kindergarten because this is a life transition you are ready for. After all, you repeated again this morning that you wanted the day to go by fast so that your first day would be here. I love that. I was always in to school too. :)

So much opportunity lies ahead of you.

Watching you thrive in this new season of life makes me smile even as I type. I can’t wait to see your excitement as you show me school projects and tell me about all the new things you learn. Even more, I can’t wait to see how you shine for Him. You always say “I love God the most” and that calms my heart as I entrust you to your teacher for a full day. Always remember that as long as you cling to Him you will get through every situation you face. And, as long as you let your little light shine – and it shines oh so brightly - you will grow friendships and mature in unimaginable, awe-inspiring ways.

You are an amazing girl, sweetheart.

Have an awesome first day! And be sure to pay attention to your lunch box because there is a special note in it from me. I know. I’m a sap. I’ll be thinking about, praying over, and, quite honestly, missing you the whole day.

Life is changing but it is an exciting change.

Once that end of the day bell rings, however, be prepared. I'm going to smother you in hugs and kisses.

Bursting with love for you,

Mommy

Sioux Falls Book Signing

2011-08-18T06:19:00.000-07:00

It’s true!

I’m going to be doing a NOBODY TOLD ME signing event right here in my wonderful hometown. And it gets even better

My wonderful, witty incredible friend and co-author Pam Stenzel is going to be joining me!

After speaking at the United Nations, Kingdom Bound, and finishing work on our second book, Pam is making a stop here in the lovely Sioux Falls, South Dakota to do our first joint book signing since our book came out.

And, she’ll be speaking too!

I always say that she could talk about the color the sky and it would be captivating but our topic is much more important and she has a brilliant way of taking the awkward topic of sex and making it into a safe, comfortable, funny, enjoyable talk. Pam uses a perfect blend of fact and humor to educate everyone, bridge communication gaps, and empower students with the abstinence advantage.

I know, it’s going to rock so let me get you the details:

Everyone 12 and up is welcome
Planning Life will be hosting her at Gloria Dei Church (5500 E. 57th Street)
Sunday, August 28
6:30pm
Tickets are $10 each
Get your tickets by calling 605-521-8139 or at Crossroads
Remaining tickets will be sold at the door

Once she is done knocking your socks off with the best sex talk you ever hear we will start signing away. Books will be available for purchase at the event.

So put us on your calendar and come on out to say hello.

We can’t wait to meet you!

The Calm Before the Storm

2011-08-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

Summer is quickly winding down so our family took the "peace, be still" message to heart and escaped for a relaxing weekend getaway to my uncle's with my mom's side of the family.

Grace and Hannah enjoyed two canoe rides. We couldn't have asked for a prettier landscape. The sun reflected like diamonds on the still, glassy water and cotton-candy like clouds filled the sky.

Ava rolled over for the first time and was pretty impressed with herself.

And every generation there savored bonding time with one another.

What joys are you soaking in before busy school schedules change the pace of life?

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Caught in the Middle

2011-08-11T06:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes fear keeps me there.

Our Bible Study is currently going through Joanna Weaver’s “Lazarus Awakening.” Inside the beautifully written pages, Weaver entwines the Lazarus story into our own lives.

A particularly striking image for me was her discussion of tombs. In Jesus’ day they were made of two chambers, she educates. The first room is a vestibule, which contained a stone seat. The inner chamber was for the deceased.

Metaphorically speaking, Weaver asserts than many of us live in the “midchamber” of life.

“Suspended halfway between death and life, we’ve accepted the Lord as our Savior, but we have yet to step out into the fullness of life Christ came to give. Instead, we’re holed up in the dark, held captive by our hearts, our hang-ups, and our habits.” (Weaver)

Ouch. Call me guilty.

Often times I let fear of failure (my hang up) hold me back. I’ve locked away goals in the corner of my heart because I didn’t think I had the skill set to successfully accomplish my desire.

I’ve dwelt in the “midchamber.” Anyone else?

Somehow, operating in this self-protection mode feels safe. I tell myself that I have much to offer and the gifts I don’t think I have, well, that is okay. Someone else has that skill to contribute. And to a certain extent, that is true, but it holds me back from trying things God is nudging me to do.

If I am going to affirm that I can work through every situation He has called me to in His strength (Phil 4:13), then I need to trust Him with all areas of my life and not decide for Him where I will shine.

So I am going to try to be better at letting go of the hang-ups to get out of the “in between.” I want to leave the “midchamber” to experience the full richness God has uniquely designed for me.

And I’m starting with the site. I know it’s a small think in the big picture, but for a while I’ve really felt God calling me to change the template and customize the header so that readers and publishers who stop by get a better sense of me. However, “tech” skills are not my thing. Whenever I go to tutorials on headers my blood pressure rises and my memory drifts back to my college days when I’d be stuck in the science lab for hours because I couldn’t create and import my graphed out findings. I emotionally curl into the fetal position, close the computer, and settle.

But I want (and feel called) to try.

Sadly, this is one example of this rut I’ve experienced in many different ways.

However Weaver’s imagery has me inspired. Get me out of this “midchamber.” I want to step into the light - even if it means going out of my comfort zone and a belly flop here and there.

It’s go time!

So I read more tutorials and came up with this new color scheme and design. What do you think? I’m not going to lie. I might have let out a little scream and done the happy dance. Now I’ll move on to my next issue. :)

What has you hanging out in the “midchamber?” What hang-up, past hurt, or habit do you struggle to let go?

You aren’t alone. Be encouraged.

And, if you don’t have this book on your shelf, get yourself to the store! It’s Just. That. Good.

Photo credit

Defining Success {Blogging on Blogging}

2011-08-04T19:33:00.001-07:00

Recently a friend wrote asking, “How do you start a successful blog?”

I was surprised because I don’t necessarily think of my blog as “successful.” I wrote her back, but God has been YANKING at my heart to share on this topic because I think there is more to defining “success.”

From a practical standpoint, this is what I would have to say-

1) Know your voice: There are a million blogs out there and each has their own flavor. Some bloggers are great at pulling you into story. Others draw you into every day experiences through straight forward explanation. Some have an upbeat tone while others are more serious. A tendency can be to try and “speak like” a blog you deem successful, but if the voice is not uniquely yours you will not be able to effectively convey your message. God made you unique. Be you.

2) Know your audience: Who are you trying to reach? You can’t be all things to all people. And, you shouldn’t be because then you would not be staying true to you. My blog appeals to those seeking Truth in the everyday life. This base builds through family and friends, readers who like my book, MODsquad writing, other published pieces, blog hops, and those who accidentally stumbled upon it through twitter or a google search and liked what they saw. I share my heart, projects, and updates in my written ministry, creating a fun mix of the personal with the “business.” What do you share? Rest in knowing that there is an audience for every message.

3) Know your posting goal: Bloggers vary in how frequently they post. Some post everyday while others do once in a while. I fall into the latter category. I pray over my posts and typically have a sense of when and what the Spirit is calling me to post. There isn’t one “right” or “best” way. It just depends on what you want to do.

4) Use your public networking platforms: Posting your blog posts to your Facebook, twitter, and other social networking accounts will give people (that you probably already share interests with) the opportunity to see your postings. This will serve as a good springboard to building readership.

5) Don’t get too caught up in numbers: Believe you me, I love seeing my google connect and networked blog numbers increase just like the next person. But, sometimes God reminds me that when He inspires a message it is meant for a purpose larger than a committed group. You never know what impact one post will have on an individual. And, if one person is deeply moved, inspired, or transformed than it doesn’t really matter if anyone else saw it or even if they are a public devotee of your blog. Committed followers make us feel good, but the unseen ripple effect has greater impact.

Which probably brings me to why God has been calling me to post this. Because even though I know number five to be true, as a relatively new blogger I still struggle with it sometimes. Although I bet if we went around the virtual blogger room I wouldn’t be the only one. :) Somehow it feels like followers equals being liked, and who doesn’t like to feel liked?! Then my mind will get ahead of me and I begin questioning if a white background would make this space more visually appealing. I start wishing I had “techy skills” to build a custom header/template. Insecurity rears its ugly head.

And then God shakes me.

Because I am sidetracked. My focus is shifted away from being confident in the heart of my posts He's inspired to my perception of how the blog looks on the outside. But, if my goal is for people to know and follow One, than I can’t be a distraction. So, I quite focusing on the gifts I don’t have and hone in the one’s He’s given me. More importantly, I quite trying to measure “success” and simply trust what is.

Ultimately every blog is a success if the author shares the message their Author has given them!

Be you. Share what you have to share. And trust that the right people will see it.

Family Tapestry

2011-08-03T06:25:00.000-07:00

Last week was the annual Nesdahl family vacation. And while we were there, we made a family tapestry.

Part of the yearly trip is a family talent show. This year I rocked out a solo dance to Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now.” In homage to the late 80s I pegged my jeans and wore a side ponytail.

Confession: I made up a dance to this song on the hill in my back yard when I was growing up and for some odd reason I still remembered most of it. But hey, it has now officially served me a purpose.

While the talents varied, my mother-in-law, who is great with word pictures, took a more sentimental approach and created this family tapestry. To do it, she took out a big sewing hoop and several types of ribbon. We all chose ribbon that we thought somehow represented us. Then we cut enough for our ribbon to span the hoop both directions and weaved them together. Lastly, she took out three separate ribbons to represent the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

The idea is that we are all unique yet woven together in God’s love.

I’m not going to lie, this brought tears to my eyes because it so perfectly defined us.

This year’s trip took place in the beautiful Palisades State Park. We all stayed in one beautiful lodge cabin and made many new memories.

Since we were in a state park known for gorgeous waters and breath-taking rock formations you would think that I would come prepared.

I didn’t.

So, when we ended up on an “adventure hike” instead of the kids playground like I thought, I panicked. First of all, I’m asthmatic and the air was VERY muggy. Without moving I felt like it was hard to breathe and when I saw the hilly land and was without my inhaler, I was fearful of an attack. Second, I was in slippery sandals and shorts. If I’m going to be by long grass and trees, I’d prefer to be in long clothes because I don’t want to be bonding with any bugs or other creatures. Particularly the types that hang out in long grasses.

I froze inside.

And my family knew it. My brother in law who was videoing the family experience probably has footage of a frozen Melissa looking like a deer in headlights.

But, I didn’t want to be a buzz kill so I tucked away my fears and followed the group.

In that moment, the "unique yet woven together" came out. I looked uncomfortable (think Shelley Long Troop Beverly Hills-ish) and they, being nature lovers, were right at home. But they didn’t make fun of me or harass me. Rather, they walked at my side and went on a short, flat trail.

Their strengths and my weaknesses coming together to encourage and experience something incredible with one another.

And then we stopped and saw this.

It was like God was saying, “Look at what I made. Think of what you would have missed.”

It was absolutely gorgeous. When combined with the sound of the flowing waters, it relaxed me to the core.

I loved it.

I’m so thankful to have married into a family so dedicated to one another.

Our tapestry isn’t just beautiful hung on the wall. It’s vibrant in the heart.

What a wonderful week.

Calling All Teens, Parents, & Youth Workers: Pam Stenzel is coming to Sioux Falls

2011-08-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

Are you a parent, grandparent, youth leader, counselor, volunteer or mentor? Do you wonder how to effectively talk about sex and God’s design for marriage? Then this is the event for you!

She’s engaging. She’s funny. She’s dynamic. And, she’ll give the best sex talk you ever hear. Internationally known speaker and author Pam Stenzel is coming to Sioux Falls to present, “Sex Still Has a Pricetag.”

Stenzel, who began her ministry as the director of a crisis pregnancy center, travels full time speaking to over 500,000 teens each year about the importance of abstinence. You may have also seen her on national television.

Last year Planning Life hosted Stenzel before a sellout crowd. Parents and their teens came together, bridging a divide and promoting healthy conversation afterwards. Youth groups came in busses. Adult leaders in the church and community took mental notes to help them better discuss the topic with teens they love.

And the response was overwhelming. After the event one girl wrote, “You answered all the questions that I’ve wanted to ask but was to afraid too. It was so funny and informative. Before you came I thought sex would be okay if I was in love, but I don’t want to risk all that you talked about. Now I get why God said marriage and I’m going to wait. Thank you. I’ve never heard such an amazing talk!” Many young people personally committed to abstinence or recycled virginity, and one even wrote to say that she told her parents for the first time that she was sexually abused. Everyone loved her unique blend of humor and fact, saying it was "fun" and that she was "cool" and "the best" they'd ever heard.

So mark your calendars because Planning Life is bringing her back!

When: August 28, 2011
Time: 6:30pm
Location: Gloria Dei
Cost: $10 per ticket
Tickets are already on sale at: 605-521-8139

After the event, Pam & I will be doing a joint book signing for our recently co-authored book “Nobody Told Me.”

Get tickets for you and the teen (12 and up) that you love TODAY! It is a life-changing event no one should miss!

View Pam's promotional video here
"Like" Planning Life on Facebook to learn more about this and other events here

Praying for Your Future Husband: A Review

2011-07-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

This month’s marriage series has been a delight. Married life is one of God’s greatest blessings – far greater than I would have ever imagined. And, it is my prayer that girls yet to enter into this covenant will experience His best as well. We are raising a generation of girls hungry to do marriage right and experience lifelong commitment.

Thanks to fellow Books & Such authors Robin Jones Gunn & Tricia Goyer there is a new book to help them accomplish just that.

"Praying for Your Future Husband" is an intricate weaving of Gunn and Goyer’s personal stories to provide hope to girls in all walks of life. I love that it focuses on Scripturally based Godly prayer for oneself and future spouse. This helps young women rise above presenting an earthly wish list of fleeting characteristics to a Santa-like God. By participating in specific prayers for each chapter focus and answering reflective questions, the reader will draw closer to God, strengthening their personal faith and helping refine the look of a Godly husband.

Reading this book will help females to capture the heart of God, transforming their life and future.

Beyond that, personal character will further develop as they seek lives of contentment and soak in the joy of the gifts God gives in the excitement of everyday life. Radiating fulfillment in Christ will make the reader more attractive to the type of Christian guy she dreams of marrying.

Ground in the Word, this book has a wonderful 52 week prayer guide with exact prayers and a Scripture verse to pray over each week. These prayers will marinate in the depths of one’s heart and create an introspective growing experience for every young woman.

As the mother of three girls, I’m thankful for this resource. Because I’m already praying over their future spouses, I can use this resource to pray in a Godly way. And, in a world often driven by looks rather than the heart, I definitely want it on the shelf for them to read when they are ready for dating relationships.

Don’t pass it by!

Wedding Rings & Kids

2011-07-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

“Mom, why do you and daddy wear those rings?”

Taking my hand in hers, she carefully studied my diamond ring.

I smiled.

“These rings are gifts that mommy and daddy gave to each other during our wedding. Putting them on meant that we promise to be together forever.”

She smiled.

When we say “I do” we not only get the gift of life with our spouse, but we have the opportunity to become “creators” with God and welcome new life to this earth.

And so this marriage series continues. First came love, then came marriage, and then came a baby in a baby carriage. Or in our case, a sweet little bundle of pink three times over.

At five, three, and two months, our girls’ brains are like a sponge, soaking in everything that they see and hear and then placing those pieces into the grand puzzle of life. Their understanding of the world and future expectations are being set by what they are seeing modeled today.

For this reason I say to all parents, don’t forget to date! Between the diaper changes, dance recitals, school appointments, ball games, and whatever brings you together for your children, SHOW them your love for one another by taking time alone. Let them hear you say “I love you” and offer a quick kiss. Let them observe you heading out the door hand in hand. Let them learn through example how a husband and wife should interact. This will provide them confidence in the stability of your home and teach them the look of a healthy marriage.

Our children may become what we are. If our prayer is that they meet a Godly spouse and have a fulfilling marriage, we must demonstrate it first.

And, taking this time alone helps emotionally fill us up. We can have all the right intentions and perfect approach to handling the specifics of parenting, but if we haven’t invested in 1) personal time with the Author of our marriage and 2) quality time with our spouse, we will have no energy to draw from, wearing our patience thin and leaving us with nothing to give.

Wedding rings. They are small objects with huge meaning. Positioned on our finger, they symbolize to the world that we travel through life no longer as an “I,” but as a “we.” Let us never forget that.

It’ll make our kids smile.

Blessing the Building Blitz

2011-07-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

We interrupt this month’s marriage series to deliver the following public service announcement.

The Amazing (Building) Blitz is happening in Sioux Falls right now.

Did you know that? If not, I understand. I get most of my news awareness via twitter because listening live often provides an education my small children are not yet ready for.

But this is incredible. And, thanks to Life 96.5 radio, I heard about it.

Here is the low down. Each year the “Blitz Home Builders,” a nationwide group of construction volunteers, picks one city to complete an incredible project. And this year they selected Sioux Falls. Through the local Habitat for Humanity, they are building three homes in just nine days. An extreme home makeover meets Habitat for Humanity of sorts.

The families receiving homes get a “hand up, not a hand out,” as the HFH coordinator explained to our family. They will make mortgage payments. However, the homes will have better rates than the apartments these large families are currently living in.

I couldn’t help but get excited when I heard this. Of all the cities, ours was selected. Responsible homeowners have been chosen. Over 100 individuals are donating their time to construct the homes.

This is an opportunity to rally together and show the Blitz Builders and greater world the heart of Sioux Falls.

I immediately got on the Life 96.5 website to see what kind of opportunities existed. An “on call builder” was completely out of the realm of possibility. I screamed when making my simple plastic number one key chain in middle school home economics so loudly that my teacher came running in, took control of the electric saw/knife thing (aren’t you impressed with my tool knowledge?), and finished it for me. Carpentry is NOT my thing. Providing meals is a better option for an organized group. Hanging out on site to register volunteers, pick up, bring water, offer first aid, etc. would be a neat experience, but not practical for a stay at home mom of three children five and under. With the intense heat we’ve been experiencing it would not be safe to have them outdoors. Providing treats. Wait? Cooking (or purchasing goods)? Now that I can do.

I called the volunteer coordinator and asked if they could still use goodies. And let me just tell you, he was thrilled beyond belief. There are over 130 volunteers pounding away in this heat. They can use a little energy goodness.

So, my two older girls and I set to it. My five year old picked two types of bars that we could make. We landed on Special K bars and Oat & Fruit bars. All afternoon my three and five year old took turns putting ingredients in the bowl, stirring, spreading, etc.

And we had so much fun!

During that time, we had an even more incredible discussion. Thanks to this project, doors were once again opened to talk about God’s desire for us to help people in need as well as a kid friendly application of 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.”

We may not be good at building things, but there are people that are. We may not have a large group to serve dinners, but there are people that do. We may not be able to tolerate the heat, but there are some who can. In fact, some love it. But, just as God calls some to use their skills as the site, He wants people to volunteer to help those volunteering with food and nourishment. Then, together as one group in spirit, we accomplish Godly work.

A fun opportunity to teach Scripture and serve at the same time.

Last night our entire family brought our homemade goodies to the site. I was blown away by the work completed in just two days. The “bones” of the houses were already complete. And, the volunteer coordinator invited us to take a look inside so the girls could see why we made the food and see builders hard at work to know who it was for.

We had so much fun making extraordinary use of an ordinary afternoon. I’m so thankful.

My Favorite Marriage Ritual

2011-07-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Packages covered the floor. A beautiful food spread filled the table accented by a bright flower centerpiece. And, ladies in dresses stepped through the door. The scene screamed party.

It was my friend’s bridal shower.

Having already been married for a few years, I wanted to make sure that the celebration was a perfect mix of fun and meaning. To accomplish that, we included an original game.

Since the bride-to-be was a scrap booker, I got funky edged scissors and pretty wedding paper and cut it into smaller pieces, varying in size and shape. Then, everyone at the party took a piece of the paper and wrote one piece of marriage advice. Afterwards, the bride to be read each tip aloud and people guessed who wrote it. Obviously, the person with the most matches correct won.

I knew immediately what I would write-

Before going to bed each night, share with one another the high and low of your day.

Why?

Life is full of activity. Between getting to work, going to school, caring for kids, volunteering, attending various meetings, chatting on the phone, getting together with friends, paying bills, making meals, doing laundry, and the list goes on, life gets busy.

Even though you are a couple, you get pulled in individual directions over the course of the day.

And those experiences touch us, mold us, transform us, inspire us, scare us, encourage us, exhaust us, and move us in deep ways. So, unless we make a purposeful effort to share the high and low of our day – because those often will be the things that impact us most – we will move into the next day drifting apart rather than closer together. Over time this could lead to an emotional chasm that causes married couples to see their spouse as a stranger instead of their partner.

I cannot tell you what a blessing it has been to intentionally carve out this nightly time for one another. It us unearthed incredible heartfelt conversation and ensured constant understanding of each other so that we continue through life as one solid unit.

Given the crowd at the party the tips varied from absolute hilarity to gentle encouragement, but it made for one pretty cool bridal party game because when all the advice was placed among pictures on a scrapbook page, the bride-to-be had a permanent memento of the fun she had and inspirational words for her life to come.

The Beginning of Our Story (Teen Dating)

2011-07-14T11:49:00.001-07:00

It was the first day of "ad room." Barely making my way through Mr. Swanson's big red doors on time, I swung myself into a desk for day one of my junior year at Lincoln High School.

With the sound of the bell, Mr. Swanson started in on the announcements and his quircky "short fat guy" routine. As he did so, I turned around to discover the "new boy." Appearing rather shy (which is not the case), I offered a quick hello and returned to organizing my stuff.

Then I thought about the maze of a school he was now a part of.

"Do you know where your classes are?" I inquired.

"I think so..."

And that was the ice breaker that led to a friendship and ultimately marriage to the love of my life.

So how did my relationship with Charlie progress and why did it last? Let me offer teens reading this post some insight.

1) We didn't rush the relationship
Obviously Charlie and I saw each other every day, but his b-e-a-utiful hazel eyes were not enough to fall head over heals or go on any dates. Rather, we started chatting about surface stuff at school. Then he fell into my same social circle and church group. This led to more honest sharing and we started to get to know each other's heart. At the end of our junior year, after many months of daily conversation, he finally asked me out and, since I knew exactly who he was as a person, I was confident saying "yes."

2) He loved God and valued his family
One problem with how many date in today's culture is they look at appearance, or worse yet, who's available, and blindly jump into a relationship. But, that sets people up for failure and pain. During the year that Charlie and I were solely friends, we got to know each other's character.

From the outside we looked like the tale of two opposites. I am very Type A. He is ah er "relaxed." I was a study freak that accepted nothing less than As. He cared but didn't stress over it as much. He was in theater. I was all about cheerleading.

Our personalities were different. But our core was the same.

He loved God and valued his family; two qualities that were imperative for me to date someone. Why? My parents taught me that relationships matter so you should not invest your time with someone that didn't have similar values and spouse potential. During that year that we were just friends, I observed him. It was obvious that he was committed to his family and church was a place that he wanted to be. Because that was true of him, I knew that he would one day treat his wife with respect and fully invest in his family. I also knew faith in God would guide his life. He fulfilled the most important "dating qualifications."

3) We didn't close ourselves off from the world
When Charlie asked me out, I told him right away that I was friends with other guys and if that bothered him I'd have to respectfully decline. I'd seen jealousy in my friends' teenage relationships turn into control issues and could imagine that causing trust issues in a marriage one day. Beyond that, focussing on hanging out with our friends and group dates made for a "less pressure," more fun environment. Peers that only spent time with one another, which my co-author Pam Stenzel calls the "two tics no dog" effect," had all kinds of problems. Relationships failed, innocense was often lost, and old friendships were a distant memory. NOT worth it.

4) We remained pure
Charlie and I both grew up in homes where we were taught to abstain. We realized that honoring God by respecting the temples He made our body to be was critical to our health and our future marriage (whoever that was to. Obviously at 16 we did not know we would marry each other). So, it was a non-issue. This made our relationship much easier.

When you set the boundaries right away you don't have to wonder what will and will not happen. And, by not engaging in the physical, you are able to grow in the emotional and spiritual qualities that will eventually make for a successful marriage.

To serve as a constant reminder, we both wrote letters to our future spouse (about how we would honor our body & lifetime mate with our choices) and kept them in visible places. We gave them to one another on our wedding day. Mine is shared in Nobody Told Me.

5) Marriage meant forever
When we got engaged the summer before our senior year of college, we knew that marriage wouldn't mean "sweep me off my feet" love all the time. We knew there would be moments where we wouldn't feel happy love. Charlie still laughs when he remembers a first fight we had as newlyweds in our too small apartment that led to me locking myself in the bathroom and telling him that we needed a house so that I had more rooms to go to. :) BUT, we entered the marriage knowing that even when we didn't feel love we would have commitment to one another for life.

I'm thankful that Charlie kept me around even after my writing "I like pink" all over his high school math notebook. In him I found an incredible man. So incredible that he remembered the exact time that he asked me to be his girlfriend and proposed four and a half years later when the clock struck the same moment. Thoughtful, eh?!

Boys and girls, the foundation is laid long before you say, "I do." Neither one of us is perfect and we have and will make mistakes, but we were intentional in our relationship choices and I'm certain that it helped build the solid marriage we have today. Be wise.

For more helpful hints in dating boundaries and relationships, please read NOBODY TOLD ME. It's written in a fun facebook like style and has the flops and successes of your peers through story form and comment mixed in with Pam and I's counsel.

Favorite Summer Side: Mandarin Orange Salad

2011-07-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

As a purity writer for MODSquad, I was really excited to do something fun today. We are sharing favorite summer recipes so be sure to join in the fun!

My summer fav is

Mandarin Orange Salad

You will need:

1 pkg orange jello
1 pkg instant vanilla pudding
1 pkg instant tapioca pudding
1.5 c. boiling water
1/2 c. frozen orange juice
2 cans mandarin oranges
1 carton whipped topping

To make it:

1) Mix jello, vanilla pudding, and tapioca powder into boiling water. Put in a bowl and stir.
2) Add 1/2 c. frozen orange juice
3) Put in refrigerator for an hour
4) Add 1 can drained mandarin oranges and beat
5) Fold in cool whip
6) Drain remaining mandarin oranges. cut them into smaller pieces, add over top of salad and refrigerate.

If you like mandarin oranges, you will LOVE this. It is light, fluffy, and full of goodness, making for the perfect side to your favorite summer meal.

"I Do" Ten Years Later

2011-07-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago today I walked the aisle to marry God’s perfect match for me.

And, as I stood in the presence of my Lord and those gathered to support us, I promised this to Charlie-

Before Almighty God
I Melissa,
Covenant with you today,
To be your godly loving wife,
As an act of my will and desire of my heart.
I choose to respect and trust, help and care for you for
As long as we are given life together.
I’ll be your glory you’ll be my covering.
I will love with all the love in my heart.
For you I’ll listen with patience and kindness
So that I may inspire, honor and bless you.
I will share with you in all that is to come
Fidelity, honesty, and loyalty will ever guide my thoughts and actions.
I will read the Holy Scriptures and pray for you
Believing that together we can serve God and others to the fullest.
Above all else, I’ll strive to a woman after God’s heart
Knowing that only with God as my guide can I be the wife you deserve.

On our wedding day, these words they felt easy. Our relationship was grounded in love and rooted in Christ. We knew that we wanted to spend life together and that was enough.

But when we stand before the altar is really love’s simplest of days. The real work begins after the “I do’s” are spoken and two lives are melded into one.

Although we had dated wisely, parents whose marriages were healthy examples, and premarital counsel through the church, we could never prepare for what life would hold.

I had no idea that Charlie wouldn’t understand the concept of decorative towels. He couldn’t imagine thinking such towels were important. :)

We could not anticipate handling the pain of miscarriage or the struggle to conceive the first time.

As our finances became one, we couldn’t predict the twists and turns the economy would have on our salary already tied down by a mortgage and living expenses.

We couldn’t have envisioned me laying the medical school goal down to follow God’s call over our life for me to stay home.

We’d never have dreamed celebrating my signing with a literary agency and two book deals or Charlie’s new management position.

We didn’t know God would fill our home with precious baby girls that would thrust us into a parenting role, requiring new configuring of our time and joint decisions about how to best handle raising the future generation.

And the list goes on and on.

We serve an all-knowing God who knows our future long before we do. When we joined our lives in marriage we are promising to venture together through the unknown – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful – as a unit for life.

Ten years post saying, “I do” these vows take on new meaning. After coming to understand the work marriage takes, I know they are a privilege, a joy, and a challenge to live out in the busyness of everyday life. Our relationship is peppered with new understanding, seasoned with new experiences, salted with a more intense love, and enriched because we have each other.

And, as the Holy Spirit has moved us and changed us in this tag team dance of life, I could not be more thankful to be Mrs. Charlie Nesdahl.

Because the truth is that married life is better than I could have ever dreamed to be true.

Thank you for the best decade of my life, honey. Perhaps we ought to slow dance to this one more time.

In honor of this “landmark” anniversary I plan to run a few more posts this month letting you into our lives from preparing to marriage to my favorite ritual. I hope you enjoy!

Breakfast Bliss: Chocolate Chip Waffles

2011-06-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

On Monday I brought you a patriotic dessert that is pretty enough to use as a centerpiece and so tasty it'll be gone within moments of biting in. Today I bring you one last recipe because if your family is anything like ours we LOVE to do family breakfast.

So what is my favorite? You ask.

Chocolate Chip Waffles

You will need:

Cooking Spray
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups fat free milk
1 tablespoon butter, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 large egg yolk
1 large egg white
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate minichips

To make them:

1) Coat a waffle iron with cooking spray, and preheat.

2) Lightly spoon flour into drying measuring cups, level with a knife. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. Place milk, butter, vanilla, and egg yolk in a bowl; stir with a whisk. Add to flour mixture, stirring until blended. Beat egg white and sugar with a mixer at high speed until stiff peaks form. Fold into flour mixture. Fold in minichips.

3) Spoon about 1/2 cup batter onto hot waffle iorn, spreading batter to edges. Cook 3-5 minutes or until done; repeat procedure with remaining batter.

You can serve these plain or, if you are a "dessert first" kind of person, top them with vanilla ice cream and chocolate minichips. You could also stay festive for the Fourth of July with blueberry and stawberry syrups. :)

Yield: 6 servings (serving size = 1 waffle)

As you gather around the table with family and friends you love, I pray that you will first celebrate the One who taught you how to love (1 John 4:19). After all, it is because of freedom in Him that we truly have a fulfilling life.

God bless and happy eating!

Festive Fourth of July Food: Patriotic Brownie 'n Berries Dessert Pizza

2011-06-27T15:35:00.001-07:00

The Fourth of July is just around the corner and it is time for some fun food recipes! Many of us with be gathering with family and friends at our homes, camp sites, and fun vaca spots and, as we prepare, there is one question heavy on our mind

What am I going to bring?

Fear not, my bloggy friends, I have the perfect solution for you. A dessert that is both tasty AND makes for a pretty centerpiece. Awesome, right?!

Brownie 'n Berries Dessert Pizza

I whipped up this awesome Betty Crocker recipe for my Bible Study and it was a hit. So let's get cooking! Here is what you will need-

Ingredients
1 box (1 lb 2.4 oz) brownie mix
1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups sliced fresh strawberries
1 cup fresh blueberries
1 cup fresh raspberries
1/2 cup apple jelly

To make it

1) Preheat your oven to 350°F (325°F for dark or nonstick pan). Grease bottom only of 12-inch pizza pan with cooking spray or shortening.

2) Make batter as directed on brownie mix box. Spread in pan.

3) Bake 26 to 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted 2 inches from side of pan comes out almost clean. Cool completely, about 1 hour.

4) In small bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar and vanilla with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Carefully spread mixture evenly over brownie base.

5) Arrange your berries over cream cheese mixture. Form the raspberries into a circle shape over the center, surround with the blueberries, and then place the strawberry slices between the blueberries and crust edge.

6) Stir jelly until smooth; brush over berries. Refrigerate about 1 hour or until chilled.

To serve, simply cut into wedges like you would your pizza! Store covered in refrigerator.

Voila. Pretty. Easy. Good.

You can't find a better combination, my friends.

Enjoy your dessert and check back Thursday when I bring you my favorite breakfast recipe!

Now I'm off to prepare my family supper, welcome my husband home from work, and work on a cool addition to my second book with Pam Stenzel. And, speaking of Pam, she is currently on a mission trip with about 350 teen girls with SUSIE in Ecuador. They will be growing in faith and "adopt a village" through Compassion International. Please pray for them and feel free to follow their experience.

Capris...And Facing Your Fears

2011-06-25T08:47:00.001-07:00

They sat on top of the box next to my dryer. Each time I'd enter my laundry room they seemed to taunt me

Are you gutsy enough to try me on today?

Fear would get the best of me.

Not now. Soon.

My "regular" jean capris with no stretch feature. Of course, I wanted to try them on. Ava is here and my pregnancy is over so I want to be back in my own stuff. But, everyone knows that it takes time for a waistline to return.

In order to prevent feeling like a failure, I've continued to wear a few of the early maternity items or comfy, stretchy regular clothes. Ironically, I still didn't feel "good" because I wasn't wearing what I aspired to.

The annoyance mounted enough that this morning I broke. When I went down to the laundry room to begin today's wash, I looked at them, picked them up, swallowed my pride, and tried them on.

THEY FIT!

Elation overwhelmed me. Smiling as I grabbed a few more regular pairs in the pile, I heard God say,

This is just a tiny example of what you do so often in life.

I am guilty of, at times, living in the "in between." I don't try the things I really want to because I am afraid - afraid of failure, afraid of feeling badly, afraid the denim won't fit. So, I set a goal for myself but place it an arms length away. After all, I have felt the sting of trying on the denim to soon in the past.

But this is no way to live.

God has planted within us goals and dreams that we need to chase. If they are from Him, whether we fail or succeed from our perspective is not the point because He will most certainly use the result for our good - to shape us, mold us, challenge us, and increase our dependence on Him.

What are you afraid of trying today? I'd encourage you to quit saying, "Not now. Soon." and attempt it. I mean, who knows how long these capris have fit while I've been passing them by. :)

Claimed

2011-06-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

One of our greatest human longings is to be loved and one of the most beautiful expressions of love is baptism. In the waters of baptism, the awesome God who pressed the stars into place, formed the mountains, and set the world spinning on its axis, meets us personally to claim us and say,

“You are treasured all the time for all time.”

Because of the intimate power in those waters, June 12 was a very special day in our home. On that morning, Ava Marie was held over the font and received the promise of new life from her Creator.

This mama shed a few tears.

Wearing the very same white dress that her older two sisters and I wore, Ava unknowingly came before God and a public relationship was born. It wasn’t about her. It was about the One who chooses to love us.

As she grows over the years, I pray that relationship will mature because one day it will be up to her to make a personal profession of her own faith. But, we and all who love her will be encouraging her, presenting Bible Truth to her, and in fun ways inviting her into a closer relationship with God because

the reality is that EVERY earthly relationship we have can fail us or end, but NEVER will a relationship with God.

Godly love finds us, holds us, protects us, leads us, and ultimately, gifts us with an eternal home.

And that is reason to celebrate!

God wants you. In fact, He was excited about you long before you were here. His Word says, “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ…” (Eph 1:4). So, if you are feeling lost or unloved, spend time with the ONLY ever present, always loving One who can bring true fulfillment.

He’ll put a new skip in your step! :)

How Can We Help the "Teen Mom"

2011-06-16T17:02:00.000-07:00

This week “Teen Mom” Amber Portwood made the news for an alleged suicide attempt, and I must say my heart breaks for her. Obviously I do not know Amber and, to be quite honest, I’ve only watched one episode of “Teen Mom.” But, while she hurts, the nation is gawking at the situation and rolling their eyes at the ongoing drama in this young woman’s life.

Because of my work with Pam Stenzel and crisis pregnancy center ministry, I am struck by the recent news. Clearly Amber has made sinful choices. (But who hasn’t?) Her decision to have sex outside of marriage hurt her chances to have a successful relationship and the pregnancy created new hills for her to climb. I don’t care how cool someone might think it is to be on “16 and Pregnant” and become a quasi-celebrity. The fact of the matter is that Amber dropped out of school to try and raise her baby, bringing immediate academic success to a crashing halt. Beyond that, her life is forever connected to a man she thought she “loved” as a teenager. If she marries anyone else, she will not be able to escape Gary -the guy from her youth. Her past choices will follow her.

From all that I’ve noticed in the tabloids while waiting in line to purchase my groceries, Amber and Gary have tried to make their relationship work. Sadly, their on again/off again status and tumultuous twists and turns with the law and child custody further muddy the waters.

While I KNOW Amber’s choices have brought her to this place and there are always consequences to walking outside of God’s design, we have a responsibility in this too.

“Teen Mom” focuses on the struggles teen moms face. Millions of viewers tune in to watch kids struggle to raise kids hoping for good gossip the next day. And how does that help these young people??? It doesn’t.

Last I checked we were supposed to “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thes 5:11) in love not toss a camera in front of a struggling person’s face with a simple “good luck.” We should be gripping these girls that courageously chose life in grace so that they can grow in character and experience a better life. Not to mention their babies.

These are real people walking through real situations enduring real emotions. It is time to stop glorifying the problem while these young people sink further into despair and start highlighting tools to help teen parents achieve personal success and healthy future relationships.

My prayer is that a Godly mentor will enter Amber’s life and help her see herself through the eyes of her Maker. God, who loves us with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3), created us in community not to be bystanders but to be His hands and feet to those around us. We can listen and offer hope through God’s love letter, aka the Bible, promoting heartfelt change. We can pray with them & meet at the coffee shop to discuss book studies that provide encouragement for the future. (My book with Pam has been used this way) We can show the teen parent that they are loved.

And, what we can’t do on our own we can refer for. Crisis pregnancy centers (1-800-395-HELP) will help evaluate their relationships and set new boundaries so that their past relationships choices aren’t their future ones. Doctors can provide medical assessments and instruction. School programs will help meet academic goals. Area groups like Teen MOPS and online sites like www.standupgirl.com will provide a setting to motivate and achieve success. The list goes on and on.

There is hope and when we quit watching and start helping everyone benefits. So, let’s be a part of the change that gives hope to tomorrow. Starting now.

Dear Ava (Newborn Pics)

2011-06-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Ava,

Children are a gift

from the Lord;

they are a reward

from him. (Psalm 127:3)

Your sisters

know this is

true of you,

and we

too.

We love you!

*A special thanks to Michelle of Photos by Michelle for taking the amazing pictures. If you are nearby Southeast SD I'd suggest that you check her out (605-759-7188). She has a VERY REASONABLE sitting fee and then she doesn't copyright the photos so you don't get gauged for printing. With a full disc of more incredible photos than you know what to do with, you can go to anyplace you'd like for the photo size and options you want!*

Not Feeling the Love?

2011-06-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like life was suffocating you?

I have always loved Jeremiah 29:11 (“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”) but I’m not going to lie. Recently, I wasn’t feeling it.

A few months ago major changes were made in my husband’s place of employment. While the company was a perfect fit for our family for many years (job success, wonderful hours, great insurance, etc), newly implemented changes had a major financial impact on our family and, for me, it translated like this: B-U-R-D-E-N.

One of my favorite titles has always been “Mrs. Charlie Nesdahl.” I cannot say enough wonderful things about the man I married. Even when people around him at work were acting visibly upset, he remained calm and looked for the positive. Even when tears would fall down my face, he would wipe them away and assure me that God’s plan for us meant we would be okay. And, even when all the factors outside of his control went against him, he kept moving forward in confidence. I love my man!

We both felt very certain that God was calling us to a new situation, but this meant going outside our comfort zone. I’m not a fan of change and while my husband rolls well with the punches he has never worked elsewhere since college graduation. It was scary and I felt suffocated.

As my husband looked for work that he truly felt God calling him to, I supported him and asked God for my own patience. Admittedly, that isn’t always my forte.

A few months went by and one afternoon I found myself on my hands and knees just spilling my heart out to God. Lord, you say that you have plans to prosper us and give us hope but right now I don’t see it. I trust your Word to be true, but please show me something, anything, so that I can see a light at the end of this tunnel.

Have you ever been there?

The thing about God is that He is awesome and in His time He reveals how there is hope and a future in the midst of our broken situations. It doesn’t always come with sunshine and roses, but His answer does show how He protected us and how he blessed us in the midst of our trial.

Just this last week my husband started a new job. (As I type this, I’m grinning from ear to ear). It is one that he is proud of and looks forward to going to each day. His boss is a Christian and through valued conversation they are building their faith lives and the business. From the home front, I simply love seeing him smile again and the passion in his voice…not to mention that he looks pretty dapper in a suit and tie. :)

However, this perfect new fit, this answer, has stretched us. To make all the pieces fall together, he will get another part time job a few hours a week and I have committed to new writing goals. God’s will has challenged us to “add” in ways that we would not have asked for so that we can fully abide in Him like we have asked for. It looks different than we anticipated and yet it is so much more fulfilling.

And, God blessed us in the midst of our struggles as well. Romans 5:3-5a reads, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.” I can now see this to be true. As we endured the situation, our character was developed. My husband and I communicated even more about what we valued and what we dreamed of. We took a look at our finances to trim the unnecessary fat and still give in ways that glorified Him. We completely laid our lives before Him…and we experienced the always present hope of our loving God who never leaves us nor forsakes us. As individuals our faith lives grew and as a couple we blossomed as a stronger, unified front.

Life is not easy for even the most faithful of people. It presents twists and turns that throw us for a loop. The question is: will we trust as we transition through the valleys? God wants to hear from your broken heart. He wants you to communicate with Him. ALWAYS. And, as you do, He will wrap you in His love and help you to put one foot in front of the next until you can one day look back and see how He was working out all the unique details of your life to give you hope, a future, and a story to help you glorify the Kingdom.

Remember this even in the toughest of times: His Word is true. No situation you face hasn’t been filtered though His hand. And, you are always fully loved.

PS- Charlie, I’m uber proud of you!

Appetizer Fun: Taco Cups

2011-06-02T12:55:00.000-07:00

Tis the season for grill outs and fun summer gatherings!

But, let's be honest. Life doesn't slow down in the summer.

In the midst of returning to writing (after having Ava), making major adjustments in our home, and trying to come out of the "adjust to no sleep" newborn haze, the older kids are asking to bike to the park, check out the zoo, and hit up the pool now that the weather is nice.

So, I thought today I'd just post something fun - an appetizer recipe (I found on Disney Family)!

Taco Cups

Ingredients
1 can refried beans
1/2 pound cooked taco-seasoned meat
1 cup shredded cheddar
1 cup salsa
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup sliced black olives
1 bag Tostitos "Scoops!"

Directions
Set the "Scoops" chips on a large platter and layer with beans, meat, cheddar, salsa, sour cream and black olives.

Yep. It's that easy. You can put them together in just a few minutes and they have "cuteness" written all over them!

Perfect for a busy parent who wants to put together something fun but spend their TIME investing in memory making with the children rather than kitchen.

Or, if your kids are old enough, you could make them together. My girls are all about helping out with what they can. :)

We all want to hit a home run with our food gathering contributions while still getting done all that we are called to. I pray this helps you strike the perfect balance!

*photo credit by http://family.go.com/images/cms/food/Taco-Cups-Recipe-photo-260-JToy-_MG_9964.jpg*

What's In Her Name?

2011-05-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

Are you the mama of a girl?

Often times when we pray over our future children during pregnancy we choose names with special meaning - reflecting growing strong in the Lord, carrying on family names, etc.

This weekend on my MODSquad post I'm sharing how we chose Ava Marie's name and I'm inviting you to join in the conversation.

The stories have been INCREDIBLE & extremely fun to read. Please stop by to enjoy what has been written and while there don't forget to share how you selected your precious angel(s) name(s)!

http://modsquadblog.com/2011/05/whats-in-a-name/

Our Graduate

2011-05-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

This has been an incredible memory making month. Not only did we welcome precious Ava into our family and enjoy Grace's dance recital, but we also celebrated our first graduation.

Grace graduated from preschool.

The kids processed into the auditorium to "Pomp and Circumstance" (insert hormonal mommy tears here!) wearing graduation hats...or "square hats" as Grace called them. :)

One of the benefits to having her in Christian preschool was the opportunity to discuss and grow in her Christian faith. They sang songs praising Christ and who He created them to be before giving speeches. Yes, they each took the mic and said, "When I grow up, I think God wants me to be _____." Grace said a ballerina teacher.

Then they all got their diplomas and were introduced as the class of 2024.

Can I just say that I'd never thought of her high school class before! I totally had to get the kleenex out again!

Grace had an incredible teacher in Mrs. LuAnn (on the left) and her helper Mrs. Anne (right).

Her school uses Proverbs 22:6 as their theme verse. However, as a parent that watched her child adopt an extreme love for school in her first year there, I am confident this will hold true not only for her love of the Lord, but also in joy found in the classroom.

We are so proud of our little graduate

Who is now officially an elementary schooler!

Way to go, Grace

and thanks for the beautiful permanent memories

made in your preschool graduation day!

We love you!

Thanking Inspirational Teachers

2011-05-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

“A good teacher is like a candle – it consumes itself to light the way for others.” ~ Author Unknown

Teaching. It is an incredible calling that demands patience, organization, and a heart full of love. Teaching necessitates that one pair of eyes see and respond to a multitude of kids. And, good teachers will somehow – in only one body – see and respond to the needs of many bodies. Their mark will never leave the lives they inspire and hid inside future doctors, nurses, teachers, counselors, executives, pastors, priests, homemakers, etc is their loving, confidence-building influence.

This was Grace’s first year in school. While my husband and I prayed about where to send her and knew that Train Up a Child was the right fit, we had no idea that we could be so thankful for one teacher.

Mrs. LuAnn is one in a million. Under her teaching, Grace has continued to excel in her reading, Bible knowledge, writing skills, project making, and the list goes on. But, most importantly, through her style and approach, Grace has developed a genuine LOVE for school. In fact, she is really sad that once Thursday comes she is done for the summer.

As a parent, I am thankful. It is one thing to send your child to school and know that they are learning. But it is a whole different thing to know that they are being fed all that they need to lay a foundation of love for the academics. Having a child that is excited about learning is a gift and the foundation that she has laid will continue to bolster Grace’s confidence and serve her well as she leaves to start kindergarten next year. Her influence is irreplaceable.

People that feel called to the teaching profession are gems. It is only for those with a special gift. This week, as your child prepares for summer break, I pray that you will join me in taking the time to do something special for a teacher that has left their mark on your child’s heart – whether it be a nice card, a flower, a Starbucks card, whatever. I know that we always feel short on time, but the time that they have invested with our children has been a bright spot in their life and lit the way for their future.

I’m getting it done today. Will you join me?

Meet Ava

2011-05-09T10:29:00.001-07:00

Last Monday night my husband, Charlie, and I headed for Olive Garden to enjoy a date night. I'm thankful for the opportunity because shortly thereafter we snapped this picture and headed for the hospital.

The night was filled with contractions, which meant no sleep for me. But, that was okay because I was ready to be done being pregnant and meet our newest family member.

When morning came, I received an incredible epideral that allowed me to rest a few hours and regain my energy before pushing through a few contractions and meeting our newest princess.

At 11:36am on May 3, Ava Marie entered the world healthy and beautiful. She weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces and was 19.5 inches long.

We were surprised by the head of dark hair since both of our other two girls were born pretty much bald with a little bit of blond. I guess there was good reason for all the heartburn! :)

My husband was an incredible support (as he has been each time) and when I saw him holding Ava I was overcome with love for him as a father.

There is something about seeing your spouse hold, love, and adore your child that makes you fall in love with them in a whole new way.

The girls came up to the hospital sporting these shirts

and were completely enamored by her.

That has continued to be the case at home where we have help with EVERY diaper change, clothing selection, pajama pick, and, of course, with holding her.

Our dear friend Dr. Seger was there, making it three for three with helping to bring our children safely into the world. (If you look closely you can see one of Ava's cutest features, her dimple!)

We will forever be thankful to have a physician that so dearly loves us and our children.

And we will forever be grateful for the incredible nursing staff on labor and delivery, post-partum, and in the nursery. Everyone helped to make our birth experience exactly what we hoped it would be.

I know I will miss watching the girls' excitement when Ava was moving around inside my stomach

But we praise God that she is here and we now have a beautiful trio of girls my brother has cleverly dubbed "Charlie's Angels."

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." James 1:17

We Are Blessed!

I'm So Blessed

2011-04-30T19:03:00.000-07:00

ANY MOMENT now I could go into labor. Pam & I got manuscript number two in. My hair is freshly dyed and I’m sporting a new pedicure complete with toe bling. Bring on the labor!

As I await the “big moment,” I’m thankful for a woman is deeply woven into our family and will be a part of this blessed event.

My doctor.

God brings people into our lives in unique ways. When I started college, I believed God was calling me into medicine. Matched through a class, I spent hours with my now doctor observing, learning, and growing. She encouraged me when I wanted to throw my organic chemistry book out my dorm window and championed my skills.

Over time, God obviously revealed to me otherwise. I KNOW I’m meant to be a stay at home mom and author. It provides for both me and my family the perfect balance.

But, He would connect us bigger, better, and stronger ways.

A situation landed me in her office for help. Things wouldn’t go easy for us when we first wanted a child. And then when we finally did have a positive pregnancy test and healthy ultrasound, we would find out just weeks later in her office with her doing the ultrasound that we had lost the baby.

Our hearts were broken. Yet, it was her that prayed with us, cried with us, and helped me to truly see that motherhood – from the moment of conception – calls one to wear their hearts on their sleeve. It is never easy or comfortable. But, it is a joy no words could express.

“You will be able to be a mother again, one day,” she whispered.

When Grace entered our lives, she was not on call, but there she was through a long labor helping us safely bring her into the world. She is named after our doctor.

Shortly after Grace turned one we found out we were expecting again. I was shocked. She wasn’t. “God is bigger than medicine, Melissa,” she said on the phone.

Hannah came into the world again in the evening and again when she wasn’t on call. But she was there. She and her husband would serve as her Godparents.

In these few years, our lives have remained intertwined. She has assisted Pam and I when we have medical questions for our work. She’s shared in my faith and encouraged me to grow, stretch myself, and really follow God’s call for my life.

My doctor is more than my friend. She has stood in the gap to mend my broken heart and she has shared with us in moments of life’s greatest joy. Through valleys and mountaintops, she has had the right words.

I’m so blessed. We are so blessed.

Now we await number three, another surprise gift from God. I know that she is hoping for a nice weekday, daytime delivery (and I can’t blame her – she has a 24/7 job and still finds time to be super mom and volunteer like crazy), but I’d take tonight. I mean, having some random stranger say to you in McDonalds, “Wow. You got twins in there” is just not good on the human psyche! :)

But, we can’t wait for her to be present as we round out our family with baby number three. Her presence in my life is a special gift from God.

Thank you, Dr. Seger for your friendship, your direction and advice, your living faith, your tremendous sacrifices, your skills as a “baby catcher,” and your incredible wisdom. We love you!

I pray that you all have the opportunity

to thank someone this week

who has encouraged you in your day to day life.

"Mom, Do You Want to See Me in Heaven?"

2011-04-22T06:35:00.000-07:00

“Mom, do you want to see me in Heaven?”

The sincere question of my five year old momentarily stopped my beating heart.

Think quickly, Melissa. This is a ministry moment you don’t want to mess up.

“Of course, I want to see you in heaven someday. And, since you love Jesus and I love Jesus I will get to. But, I praise God everyday that I get to be your mom and hope that we have a lot of time together on earth before that happens.”

The truth of the matter is this: I have a mother’s heart. I look at my children and want to hold on to them forever. I want them to be innocent, safe, and protected. I never want to say good-bye.

But that is not the way we were created. From dust we were made and to dust we shall return.

So, my goal is that to keep faith-filled discussion a natural part of our day so that the love of Jesus is FIRST in their life. I want my girls to be inspired by the Word. And, even more importantly, I want them to know Him because that relationship will impact their daily living and through that relationship we are FOREVER bound.

This Easter season provides the perfect opportunity for us to celebrate this.

“Do you know what makes Easter especially cool?,” I continued in the midst of my “teachable moment.”

To finish my post, please visit ModSquad

Using Social Media to Glorify Faith

2011-04-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

TEENAGERS STORIES WANTED!

Pam and I are busy working on the end of book two and we'd love to hear stories from teenagers about how you are using social media (Facebook, My Space, Twitter,etc) in combination with their talent (music, theatre, communication, etc) to GLORIFY their Christian faith. If you (or your teen or a teens friend) have a story you'd like to share, please send it ASAP to askpam@pamstenzel.com.

On the flip side, if your teen cares to comment on time they spend with social media, horror stories from things they've posted or people they've met, the new Facebook depression link, etc. We'd be interested in that to.

We are almost done so please send them quickly. Who wouldn't want to be part of a book project?

Ava or Josiah: Guess Baby Nesdahl's Gender & Birth Stats

2011-04-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

Today I had my 36 week appointment. In my mind that is always significant because it means they will no longer stop labor.

Perhaps I should get a call list prepared & bag packed!

Since the manuscript for book two is due to the publisher May 1 and baby is due May 5, I've been pretty quiet on this site. But, today I wanted to record a little fun. Do you think this wild child is a boy or girl? And, when do you think he or she is arriving? At what birth weight?

As you can see, Grace is predicting a boy.

Hannah said girl up until last week. Now she is saying boy too.

Both of the girls arrived on their due date and weighed in at 7lbs 13 oz and 7lbs 4oz. This baby was 5lbs 11oz by ultrasound today.

What do YOU think?

I'm honestly just hoping that I've had the chance to hit "send" on the manuscript first! :)

For now, we have all the gender neutral stuff washed

so that we are ready whenever God says, "it's go time!"

And I am trusting the Lord that He will provide me the strength to get the writing and all other delivery preparations done.

STDs: Sad Truths Your Girls Need to Know

2011-03-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

It's my day on ModSquad!

Make sure you click on the link below to get to my purity book giveaway!

I’ll never forget sitting the counseling room with her. As a crisis pregnancy counselor, I volunteered weekly to sit and administer free pregnancy tests and confidential counsel to young people in need. Sadly, I would sit with girls ranging from as young as 12 up into their twenties.

On this particular day, I had a female before me who didn’t seem too concerned about if her test was positive or negative. While the clock timer ran, her mind was elsewhere. “I know I got herpes from my last partner. This is going to change everything.”

She thought she was safe with a condom but being a skin to skin contact disease with a falsely trusted piece of latex that couldn’t cover everything, she ended up infected nonetheless. And, it was too late to go back.

When it comes to sexually transmitted diseases, our girls are largely under-educated. Prevention efforts and fears tend to focus largely on unplanned pregnancy without adequate mention of the impact these diseases have.

April is Sexually Transmitted Disease awareness month and with my MODsquad niche being on purity, I wanted to provide you with information to share with your girls to help them think.

Consider these few facts: STDs are the most common diseases in America next to the common cold and flu. Source: http://humanlifeservices.org/teens.htm

One in four teens are already infected with at least one STD. Source: http://std-gov.org/

To finish reading my post & take part in the NOBODY TOLD ME GIVEAWAY, please visit ModSquad. *Note* If through conversation you find out that your daughter (or son) has made past mistakes, please go to your regular family doctor for STD testing. He or she will be able to do the most thorough testing and have the best follow up.

Check Out the Meaningful Places Exhibit (at the Old Courthouse Museum)!

2011-03-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Sioux Falls is filled with meaningful places that deserve a moment in the spotlight. After inviting the community to share valued locations (& a picture or video), the Meaningful Places Exhibit has been selected, created, and is open for viewing.

I have two entries featured so I wanted to highlight this opportunity for my local readers to embrace this chance to check out ALL the meaningful places people felt passionate enough to write about.

While I don't want to give away the details of my "places," here are some hints-

Place #1 is a place that I have been a member of since birth

And place #2 highlights the sight where my "status" forever changed.

I can't wait to see what else is included in this exhibit. Please join me in supporting the museum, which always has much to enjoy, and uplift local citizens that bring new perspective to the places you drive past each day.

Dates of the exhibit are May 21 - September 21, 2011.

Spring is in the Air: A Little Girls Bathroom Remodel

2011-03-20T16:15:00.000-07:00

After posting pictures of the new princess room, many people have asked about the new bathroom that I mentioned.

As was the case with the bedroom, we let the girls take ownership in this so when they found this shower curtain and bathroom set in Younkers (and refused to put it down), I knew it was "the one."

This toothbrush holder is strictly adorable

And the matching soap dispenser was a must.

The hand towel

And matching bug rug finish it off.

The walls are the same Easter Basket purple from the princess room and they are decorated with these adorable white shelves I got on clearance at Target. Matching white shadow boxes are featured on the opposite wall.

Since they get to help decide what goes on the shelves, we have a little bit of decorating yet to do. :)

Lest you think we got away from princesses, guess again....

A matching Tinkerbell night light lights the way for them in the darkness.

This set was already 40% off and since it was the Goodwill sale at Younkers we had coupons to get an additional 15% off each of the items amounting to mega savings all the while benefitting the community - my favorite way to shop! Seriously, I think it would satisfy Design on a Dime.

It turned out absolutely adorable. In fact, I think I love it just as much as the girls. They definitely have good taste. :)

BIG Blessings in His Time

2011-03-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well know that I am a planner. By nature I am very type A. This highly organized approach to life has helped to keep my house & personal life in line.

But, sometimes God likes to rock the boat. :) He likes to step in with a gentle reminder that He is big and I'm little; that His plans ultimately prevail.

Now is one of those times. Recently, Pam Stenzel and I received very exciting news.

Book contract number two is a done deal!

We are thrilled that after only a few months with book one on the market Regal Press has a desire and confidence in us to continue ministering to teens and young adults through book.

Interestingly, the manuscript is due May 1 and I am due with a baby on May 5. Obviously, I'm praying that this baby loves incubating and opts to wait to join us until we've hit "send."

But, I have no control.

I'm sure you've been in situations like this - where you have a desired wish but no control over how it plays out. How do you respond in those times?

Well I am choosing to cherish today. When my mind starts fast forwarding to the future and wondering how everything will go, I'm reeling it back to the current moment. After all, I have two INCREDIBLE blessings coming in the next seven weeks!

I'm taking comfort in God's provision.

Proverbs 16:33 reads, "We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall." (NLT)

The Alpha and Omega has a plan for our future and our job is simply to abide in Him. We are to live in the today and celebrate all that is before us right NOW.

Today I'm going to use "gifted time" when the kids are playing Polly Pockets (whoever invented those things is a genius. My kids LOVE them!) to read & organize for book two. I'm going to support & uplift my wonderful husband in some house projects. I'm going to help my beautiful kids make a cake for their great grandma. And, we are going to celebrate her birthday because it is TODAY.

I'm trusting that He will help me organize my time. And, I'm EXCITED about it!

Are you?

For all of you parents, teens, and mentors that loved book one on living a life of sexual purity in today's culture, THANK YOU!

We promise to deliver another manuscript you will love and be encouraged by.

In the meantime, enjoy "today" with me and trust that He has all worked out according for your good.

I just had to share the exciting news and pass on a bit of encouragement. Have a wonderful weekend!

Once Upon A Dream (Princess Room)

2011-03-15T07:46:00.000-07:00

Last week I got you all primed and ready for the princess room reveal. Well, today's the day!

As I mentioned, the girls know Whose they are and being the daughter of the King

they are in to all things princess.

We found these super cute comforters at Target and both girls wanted them for their bunk beds.

Since Target does an amazing job of marketing, we also left with these princess "wearable blankets." Basically they are the kid version of the adult snuggie in princess form.

I was lucky enough to be discussing the princess room with another mom at preschool and she told me that Walmart had well-working wall stickers. The girls picked this princess castle mural

as well as a pack with several of the princesses with princess things and sayings. I have to say, it was an amazing way to decorate the walls. We got tons of wall space decorated for a mere $30.

Because this was their "special" privilege that comes with being a big sister, they got to choose the wall colors as well. They selected Fairytale Pink and Easter Basket Purple from the kids room collection at Lowe's. All of the walls are pink with the exception of the wall above the ledge that frames a window.

Hannah was disappointed that we didn't use more of the purple and we had some left so they ended up with an adorable new kids bathroom (which they selected everything for) as well. Perhaps I'll show you that another time. :)

We finished the room off with this adorable sisters princess wall art from their aunt

and a princess night light, thanks to our friend who told us they had a huge variety of them at Lewis on sale for only $2.99. Daddy surprised the girls with these so he was in an instant hero.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm married to an amazing man? He gave up his manly Vikings room to fulfill their princess dream.

I owe a huge thanks to my mom for the time she invested in helping us get the job done. Not only do I appreciate her willingness and talent, but the time spent together was a treat.

So there you have it! An adorable princess room for our wonderful little princesses.

Celebrating the Princess Within

2011-03-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

Baby #3 is due to arrive 8 weeks (or sooner) from today. Time is FLYING!

But, we didn’t want so much focus to be placed on the baby that the girls felt there was nothing special in this transition for them.

So, we let them pick colors and a theme for their new room.

For their last birthday they wanted a princess party. A local hairstyling school does girls parties (hair & and manicure) for a mere $10 per girl. So we decided to celebrate the princess within.

After all, all of us ladies are children of the King, making us HIS princess.

The girls invited some of their friends and off to the styling school we went.

It was Hannah's first time with a curling iron.

Grace was all about the curls.

They got their nails done.

Left hand in hand.

And then decorated picture frames at our home (which they finished off with a group picture).

Since this party, the girls love for princesses has only intensified. I'm fine with this because they know that they are His and this makes the princess concept "fun."

Consequently, their new room revolves around this theme. Once we have things up on the walls, I'll be back to show you pictures from their "special treat" in this pregnancy.

Because Dance is About More than Pretty Turns & Pointed Toes (The Letter of Appreciation Link Up)

2011-03-07T19:05:00.000-08:00

Our oldest started dance the month that she turned three.

And she loves it.

Every week she says Tuesday's are her favorite days because she gets to go to ballet and tap.

But, the reason she loves it lies in more than pretty turns and pointed toes. She LOVES Ms. Amanda, her dance teacher.

Ms. Amanda does an amazing job of

*giving each student a feeling of success

*maintaining a controlled environment (even with 16 or so 4 & 5 year olds)

*investing time in the students so they are proud of their performance

*building their self-confidence

*listening to them

*creating a fun, safe-space for students to thrive

I could go on and on. And, I know others would too. When another little girl in Grace's class was afraid to get up in front of others, Ms. Amanda invested TONS of extra time (outside of the 45 minute session) to talk to her and build her up, empowering the young girl to perform in front of others at the recital. She didn't have to do it. It wouldn't be required in the paid for experience. But, she did. And, in the process the little girl unearthed new self-assurance she didn't realize she had. Today that girl is a beautiful dancer.

Ms. Amanda is irreplaceable in our lives. She has created an experience that supercedes anything we, as parents, could have ever hoped for. Through her work, she has gifted Grace with incredible skills that extend beyond the dance studio and make Grace stronger and confident in life. Not to mention developed an adorable dancer. :)

I am so thankful for her presence in Grace's life and can't wait for Hannah to be a part of it next year.

So, this National Letter of Appreciation Day, I let Ms. Amanda know that her time, effort, and personality is valued. Who did you write to?

Unfading Beauty: The Modesty Conference No Girl Should Miss!

2011-03-04T06:04:00.000-08:00

She first found me on twitter, saying that we were in choir together. After looking closely at her picture, I recognized Erin and began laughing thinking of the many funny memories still burned in my brain from our LHS concert choir days.

However, we really only knew each other on the surface in high school. I honestly didn’t know Erin’s heart or passions and she didn’t know mine. As God would have it, social networking has reconnected us and in each other we have discovered deeply shared mutual passions for God, promotion of teen integrity, and the gift of being a wife and mom.

When Erin told me that was part of a girls modesty conference, I immediately wanted to know more. After all, it fits my line of work with Pam. And, once I found out exactly what it entailed, I had to invite her to share because this is an event that I think EVERY teen girl should be a part of.

Just listen to this. Take it away, Erin!

I’m so honored to be posting here at Melissa’s beautiful blog today! And especially on a topic we both feel so passionately about!

I am blessed to be part of an event in Lincoln, Nebraska called Unfading Beauty, a fashion show in its fifth year celebrating the beauty in every woman and giving young ladies practical application on how to dress in the latest styles while still remaining modest.

Several years ago, a fellow youth sponsor at our church had a beautiful vision she wanted to help convey to the girls of our group in a fresh way:

We can enhance our outer beauty with a little makeup and a cute outfit, but our beauty is not defined by our outward appearance. It is defined by the inner workings of our heart. We can often make the mistake of thinking that if we show off the assets God has given us, we will be more attractive, more desirable or more beautiful. There is a difference between dressing nicely and dressing to call attention to and flaunt our body. We believe our intent, with our wardrobe, hair and make-up, should be to show the grace and beauty of womanhood that God designed in us.

And that vision took off in the form of this fashion show.

It has been such an amazing blessing to see both the models and the attendees transformed by a godly view of beauty instead of what the world tells us is beautiful!

And what girl doesn’t love some fun, MODEST fashion ideas?! I am inspired every time!

This year’s show will feature clothing from Be Yourself Boutique, Down East Basics, Francesca’s Collections, Kohls, Lane Bryant, Maurices, Nation’s Outfitters, Old Navy, Plato’s Closet, Shabby Apple, and TJ Maxx. What a great selection!

I think one of the most exciting parts of this year’s show is the addition of a mini-conference the next morning! We are so thrilled to have Hayley DiMarco speaking briefly Friday night, and as our keynote speaker for the Saturday morning conference. The conference will be geared toward teen girls and their moms, with breakout topics including:

*Fashion 411
*Dish on Dating
*Purpose of Pure
*Modesty Starts with Mom
*Resolving Conflict with Your Teen

The conference is a way to take the ideas presented Friday night during the show to another level with practical tips and applications, as well as letting girls and their moms ask questions in a safe environment. We will also be giving away a copy of Melissa and Pam’s book, Nobody Told Me, during the conference!

I could go on and on about how much I love this event and how much God has done through it, but I’ll just let you check out all the details over on the Unfading Beauty website!

And we would just love to see you there this year!

Fashion show and conference tickets are available online now, and you can even donate a ticket through the website to go to a girl who can’t afford to go!

And we’re also giving away a full fashion show and conference ticket ($20 value) here on Melissa’s blog!

Just leave a comment here if you want to be entered!

And for an extra entry, spread the word about Unfading Beauty on Twitter or Facebook and leave another comment here!

Thanks again Melissa for letting me share about Unfading Beauty today!

To keep updated on everything about Unfading Beauty, become a fan on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

You can see why I am in love with the idea, right?!

If I wasn’t just a few weeks out from my due date I’d totally

be checking this conference out. It is a great way

to help girls feel trendy while embracing God-given boundaries.

We can affirm beauty while protecting character.

We can cherish who God created us to be

while protecting what He meant for our spouse.

THAT is special.

Please spread the word about this conference to all you know in youth ministry, those who serve as mentors, and mothers of teenage girls. The giveaway will remain open until Monday, March 14 at noon CST, when the lucky winner will be selected via random.org!

!!!BE SURE to leave your email in your comment so I can follow up with you if your name is drawn!!!

Lastly, thank you, Erin, for dedicating your valuable time to this special event that holds eternal value. You are of noble character, worth far more than rubies (Proverbs 31) and your joy in helping others achieve that makes it an honor to call you friend!

Say "Thank You" Challenge

2011-03-01T12:38:00.001-08:00

Did you know that today kicks off National Write a Letter of Appreciation week? True story (March 1-7).

While I sometimes find these day and monthly observances to be silly/pointless, this one is different. Think about it. When was the last time you got a snail mail letter from someone simply saying they appreciate you? And, doesn't it excite you when you open the mail box and see something beyond bills or anticipated cards for celebrations?

I love it!

Really, the art of a handwritten letters seems to have gotten lost in our highly technological age. It's quicker to post "thank you" on a Facebook wall or in a text than to sit down, plan something (a little deeper) out, get a stamp, and drop it in the mail. But, that effort speaks volumes.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 begins, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...."

God wants us to do this!

Yet, for some reason, we often hold feelings of true appreciation for others to ourselves - in a lock box for no one to hear or know. But, life affords no guarantees for tomorrow and there are many in our lives who have or are making our days brighter.

Shouldn't they know it?!

So, this week I am inviting you to join me in a say "Thank You" challenge. Whoever it is that is enahancing your life - a friend, a teacher (past or present), a doctor, a babysitter your kids love, a co-worker, etc. - write them a thank you and send it off.

Next week on the 8th I'll be back with a short post about who I sent my letter to. I'd love to hear who you blessed as well. (I'm totally not tech savvy so if you all think it would be fun to do some linkly love with this I need help with free linky tools compatible with blogspot. Otherwise we'll stick to comments).

Doesn't the idea of knowing that you will make someone smile put a grin on your face and make it totally worth the few minutes of your time?!

This is one observance that I am thankful for. Join me!

*update* I believe I found a linky widget tool for a link up on the 8th! It'll be my first try at it so check back and hopefully all will be in working order! :)

Bieberhearts, Let’s Talk About Love…

2011-02-25T06:24:00.000-08:00

Has Bieber Fever struck your home?

Across the country, millions of girls are heart sick for 16 year old Justin Bieber. With wispy hair, a cute smile, and popular voice, Justin has quickly become today’s teen heart throb. Girls download all his music to their iPod, can’t get enough of his face, and salivate over his every word.

Because his sphere of influence is so large, I was deeply disappointed by his comments related to sex in the recently released Rolling Stone.

What exactly did he have to say on the topic? When asked if he believed in abstinence until marriage he responded, “I think you should just wait for the person you’re…in love with.”

Great. Now all of the Beliebers who aren’t strong enough, mature Believers truly are going to be sick because their idol has just told them that love is the boundary for sex. Sadly, if girls buy into this cultural lie their chances of walking away from that relationship without true physical disease are not good. After all, one in four people are infected with an STD and more than one in two sexually active singles is already infected with HPV.

Hearing his quote made me think about another teen boy’s question in my new book with Pam Stenzel.

To finish reading my post, please visit MODsquad.

(photo credit by yangamat.com)

Where's Waldo

2011-02-22T10:11:00.000-08:00

Remember Where’s Waldo? You know the cute little guy that was found somewhere within the chaos of different settings on different days? Well, that summarizes my writing life this week so I wanted to let you in on the find so that you can find me.

Everyone has a different talent. Some people make bows. Some people knit super cute trendy items. (I so wish that I could do that!) I make words. Not just words on a blog page, but words on the pages of books that you see at your local bookstore and bring home to enhance your life.

Unaware that this was a God-given talent, I didn’t always know that this would be my story. I thought God had other plans for me. But, after having my first baby, a request to write a manuscript with Pam, and an amazing conversation that led to an invitation from Wendy Lawton at Books & Such to be my agent, I was completely in. God had affirmed my gift and opened my eyes to all the potential that lies ahead making words fit in a way that educates, inspires, and brings the love of Christ near.

I love words. I love their power. And, I love the ability of a good book to draw its reader out of their busy lives and into a new world for a while.

My prayer is that my recently released book with Pam Stenzel will do that with today’s teenagers, their parents, and all who love/mentor someone in the 12 to young 20 age group. Our Facebook like formatting is the first of its kind and the stories and questions shared along with the information inside will answer any question a person has about sex and leave them walking away desiring abstinence until marriage.

This week you can find me in several different blog settings (and there will be some giveaways so make sure to check them out!) with different messages about the book. On Wednesday, I’ll be guest posting with The MOB Society. If you are a mother of boys, you most definitely need to check them out! Thursday I’ll be over at Teri Lynne Underwood’s site And, Friday I’ll be writing my monthly post for ModSquad Girl mama’s that post is for you! In addition, Erin from Home with the Boys will be writing her own review of the book on Friday and having some fun with it. I can’t wait to see what she has to say!

Get the Where’s Waldo effect?

Now it should be a little easier to find me in the midst of all your web pages. As I give thanks to God for the gift of putting together words in this form, (Pam and) I feel richly blessed to be invited to share in so many places.

Check them out and have a great week!

*Note: The book is also available on the Kindle ,iPad, and Nook*

(Photo credit to ordable.com)

Dearest Baby Nesdahl

2011-02-17T15:49:00.000-08:00

According to averages you are now about 17 inches & around 3 pounds. If my stomach is any indication, however, you have your father’s (tall) genes. Seriously, you’ve given a whole new definition to belly dancing. With the liveliness of the energizer bunny, you make my stomach move around & we watch in awe. To say you are a mover and a shaker is the understatement of the century.

Today I saw the pulmonologist and they were happy with how we were doing. Sometimes it feels like forever until you will be here. Other times you make it obvious that the day is coming. In fact, today during a live radio interview I had a contraction that momentarily took my breath away. Nice timing, kiddo!

The whole family is anticipating your arrival and as we’ve entered the third trimester (I’m 29 weeks), I want you to know how loved you are.

Your father, Charlie, is a man of God who will dote over you in ways that will only make my love for him continue to grow (if that is possible). As you age, he will be the one that loves to run around and play the crazy games like hide-and-go seek and monster, and he’ll magically finagle his way into the little plastic play house for imaginary play.

When he’s working, I will be at home with you. One of my greatest joys is seeing your every first. I know that I am blessed that way. And, when you sleep, I’ll be writing. As an author, I have the perfect balance between the being-at-home life and the opportunity to use my God-given skills to help minister to others.

You’ve heard your sisters’ voices by now and they have made the pregnancy with you beyond enjoyable. Discomfort from the reflux (hair maybe?) is all forgotten when they rush over to place their tiny hands over my belly and dream about you. Hannah even thinks she heard you laughing. :)

I have a feeling Hannah - who will be 3 ½ when you are born - will be more help than you are ready for. After a trip to the zoo today she proudly announced, “I can’t wait for spring so the baby will be born and I can hold it and hug it.” She routinely brings me diapers for you (already) and is enamored by any baby she sees. Be prepared!

Grace will be 5 ½ and is quite mature for her age. She will sing to you, dance for you, sit by you and read books, and pray with you. I am certain of this because she does it with Hannah now. If ever there was a tender-hearted soul, it is her. She will cherish you beyond measure.

I can’t wait to see your precious little face and find out whether you are a boy or girl. But, beyond the hospital, my favorite days will be those first days home, when your daddy is off of work and our nuclear family will adjust from four to five. Just like your sisters, you are a miracle. A definite answer to prayer. And, you will enter a house filled with love. So, incubate for a few more months, but don’t be afraid to come a couple days early. We will be ready for you!

Tune in for a Live Radio Interview!

2011-02-16T09:50:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, February 17, 2011, Pam Stenzel & I are going to be interviewed live about our new book on WMBI-FM radio at 10:30am CST. If you are in the Chicago area, tune in at 90.1FM. And, for all the rest of you, their site has a listen live option. So, no one has to miss out on the fun. :)

We are honored to be featured on the “This is the Day! with Nancy Turner” show. The program regularly features a mix of interviews with authors, inspirational speakers & other people of influence.

If you are unfamiliar with our recent release, click here. The reviews thus far are excellent!

The Ultimate Valentine

2011-02-14T07:38:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day conjures up many emotions. You might be happily in love and anticipating a special date or already cherishing a heartfelt gift. Or, you might be single and planning an anti-Valentines celebration. Perhaps you were like me and consciously chose to put on red this morning. Or, you may have awaken and selected black like one of my dearest friends.

But, Valentine's Day goes so much deeper.

I don't know where you are at today. But, there is One who does. And, no matter what your circumstance, He longs to be your Valentine.

Some of the words in this Love Letter to you are featured in my new book. Listen to the message in its entirety and soak it in.

Christ is referred to as your bridegroom in Scripture because He is the ultimate lover. Regardless of your relationship status on this side of heaven, He is caring for you, intimately loving you, and providing for you the safe, secure relationship no earthly one will ever match.

"I love you," He says.

And this makes today a holiday we can all celebrate. Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Treats

2011-02-13T09:41:00.000-08:00

Still looking for the perfect Valentine's treats for your child's class party?

How cute are these?!?!

I'm in charge of treats for Grace's party tomorrow and I must admit I struggled. Valentine's Day has traditionally been defined by a societal celebration of romantic love. But, let's be honest - little kids aren't celebrating romantic relationships nor do we want them to be!

I want my children to know the Author of love. When they think of Valentine's Day, the fun cards and good treats are fine, but I want them to think primarily of the love that Christ has for them and how He defines it.

Initially, I was looking for some kind of treat that I could do something with the Scripture

Love is patient, Love is kind... 1 Cor 13:4

Because God loves in this special manner and wants us to recipricate that. In young minds, that translates to respecting parents and being nice to siblings and friends. As they age and get into dating relationships, it means respecting the body of the person they date as well as their own (because selfish romantic desires are understood not to be of Him).

Essentially, understanding God's deep, personal love for them now will help them to have healthy Valentine's Day celebrations down the road.

Unfortunately, when trying to put this message into something food, my creativity failed me. However, I ran across this very cute recipe on Disney's family fun site and I made a few modifications.

Rather than saying "I choo-choose you" the banner reads "God choo-chooses you." With the cupcakes prepared, tracks pasted on, and train items ready to go, I plan to let the 4 & 5 year olds assemble and place the train on their treat while talking to them about how special they are to God.

Pretty fun, right?

I wanted to pass the idea along just in case you - like me - have procrastinated in the party planning arena!

Football Fun

2011-02-08T10:42:00.000-08:00

If you are like many, last Sunday evening was spent in front of the TV taking in an American favorite - the superbowl. And, if you don't care about the superbowl, you may have tuned in just to check out the always anticipated commercials.

Each year, we host the football fun and this year we tried some fun new ideas that the kids could help with so I thought that I'd pass them along! :)

We started by placing a yellow table cloth on our dining room table. It created a team neutral setting.

Then, the girls helped to make brownies. When they were done, we used a football cookie cutter to cut them out and finished them off with white frosting.

As the brownies cooked, we made jello. What kid AND adult doesn't like jello?! It's a sure hit for everyone in attendance.

For Steelers jello, we used lemon with floating black licorice. I must admit, I wouldn't do black licorice again. It got pretty soft and definitely changed the flavor of the jello. But, for this year, it worked.

For the Packers jello, we put yellow gummy slugs into lime jello. This tasted excellent!

When everything was complete, we created a festive spread in the middle of the table. Then, we placed the "real food" around it.

Since we are a household of Vikings fans, the outcome was tough. But, we did call our family members who back the Pack to congratulate them in their joy.

I wonder if we will ever get to know that feeling?

Still, the time spent eating endless good food with friends while watching a great game made for a wonderful night.

What kinds of fun things did you do this year?

Smiley Goats

2011-02-05T14:58:00.000-08:00

Today the Smiley Goats walked for a smiley little boy.

Sadly, this was the first year Sam watched us from heaven.

I must admit on my way there I was deep in prayer for strength over Sam's family... and my mind drifted to the "why?"

I don't know if you are like me, but when life doesn't make sense (from my perspective) I sometimes struggle. I don't like it when life feels grey. Confession: I'm a black and white kinda girl.

However, just as quickly as my mind went there, God smacked me Proverbs 3:5-6:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

So I let go.

I can never make sense of all pain, confusion, and suffering on this side of heaven. Nor can you. This makes the "why" a pretty much meaningless question that allows Satan to keep us from experiencing the riches God can provide when we submit to Him.

There is power in His all-knowing name.

Amazingly, while there were a few tears, today was filled with tremendous joy. An enormously large team of people celebrated a child who knew nothing but love. Jeff & Erin demonstrated confidence and passion for a school that helped their son to thrive while he was with them. And, we all clung to the love of our faithful God

to remember a much loved child.

I am so honored to have known Sam, to count myself a friend to this beautiful family, and for a powerful Word that gives us new focus and hope....ALWAYS.

Do You Prefer Books on the Kindle?

2011-02-02T07:19:00.000-08:00

NOBODY TOLD ME is now available for you!

In an age where literature can be read in so many ways, this is exciting news - particularly for those of you who have asking for our book in this format.

I must admit, I have something about hold a physical book in my hands, turning the crisp pages, and passing along that which I love. But, for those who are talented enough to workout while reading (which I have discovered is certainly NOT me), travel alot, or simply like the look and simplicity of the screen, it is a great piece of technology that allows people to have multiple books without consuming a lot of space - and that is GREAT news for all book lovers.

So, just quickly announcing the brand new news! You can now read our book in whatever format you wish: physical book, Kindle, or Nook.

Enjoy!

Also, I'm honored to be guest posting with Karin Kaufman today. Check it out!

"Love"ly Winners

2011-02-01T10:43:00.001-08:00

Here we are in the month of love & I get to annoounce the five lucky winners of Pam & my new book about Godly love - Nobody Told Me. I used random.org for the winning numbers.

The people chosen were:

Jennifer A. Janes

Carson Waldrop

Elizabeth Towns

Lynn Cowell

Athena

Thank you to all who entered. If you didn't win, please know that Meghan Tucker is featuring a blog tour post today and is giving away one copy. I also am thrilled to have a guest post at Fill My Cuppie, and two copies are up for grabs there for an individual there (their instructions: "like" her post & TWEET "I LIKED IT!" from: http://bit.ly/dSzfoL). Pam and I are so appreciative for all who have invited us to share through blog posts, ministry newsletters, magazine articles, and media interviews.

If you have interest in having us write a post/article for you please let me know!

The book can be found at Pam's site, Amazon, B&N, christianbook.com, your local bookstore or wherever you like to purchase books. It is our hope that even if you didn't win you will get it into your hands and the hands of the teens you love.

We are getting wonderful feedback from teens and parents alike. In fact, one Amazon review includes this:

"If you have a teenager this is a great book. I think all parents should invest in this. This book is filled with the things parents are all want to tell their teens or are telling their teens, but it comes from their peers. The real-life stories and questions are great and will make an impact on your teen. Within the pages of this book there may even be questions asked and answered that your teen won't ask you. It further impressed me that for most subjects there was a positive example from someone who had chosen God's way and an example of someone who did not choose God's way or did not know to choose God's way and how that has impacted their life and ultimately how God restored them after they admitted their sin. I highly recommend this book."

Once you read the book, we'd love for you to share your feedback online as well.

Lastly, don't forget to join the Nobody Told Me fan page on facebook! We update fun links there mentioned in the book and share info on planned media interviews. :)

Drew's Dreams

2011-01-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

Every child is intentionally created with intrinsic value and purpose by God Almighty. But, I have to tell you all about today because we had a special time celebrating one very special child, Drew.

Many of us laced up our walking shoes and gathered at the mall

to show support in finding a cure for juvenile diabetes

because each day this little boy that we all know and love is pricked around the clock and gets insulin through a pump to manage his health. Amazingly, he doesn’t even wince when it’s time for the blood draws. He’s a tough little man.

As we drove to the walk, I was remembering the call his mom made to me from the ER. Sara has been one of my best friends for many years. Naturally, when I heard her tear-filled voice on the other end telling me that Drew, then only a year and a half, was diagnosed with diabetes, I got teary too. “I don’t want this for him.”

My heart broke.

Drew was not only her baby, but now her baby that was in for a radically different life. Constant monitoring and management would be a way of living. He wouldn’t just eat and leave the dinner table for his bath. He would get poked first. He couldn’t just run around like a growing boy and then relax. There would need to be a blood draw.

In fact, the news aired this clip on them this week-

But, as we left the walk, I praised God because if you met Drew’s family you would know that John and Sara appear cool as cucumbers. Sure, they didn’t want this for him. Nobody does. However, God knew what He was doing when he made John and Sara Drew’s parents. They are brilliant beyond measure. They know exactly how to balance letting him live like an active four year old boy while meeting all his health needs.

And, in the midst of it, we’ve seen them live out Faithfulness.

They are all-

Patient – “This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God's commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.” Revelation 14:12

Wise – “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise” Proverbs 19:20

Fearless – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Determined – “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

At Peace - "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:27

Hopeful – “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Joyful – “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice” Philippians 4:4

Prayerful – “pray continually” 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Though this challenge is one the family would never choose, they have become a living witness to everyone around them. So, to the entire Weber family, thank you for showing the world today and always how to glorify God despite circumstances we are made to face. We admire you.

May we all look at our circumstances and find comfort knowing we are in the loving arms of an incredible God!

In thanks for the gifts this precious boy has both shared with & taught me, I'm linking up to

"Love" & Dating

2011-01-28T07:09:00.000-08:00

“Could you please rock me, mom?”

With prayers completed and the day at a close, my 3 year old's gentle voice offered an invitation I couldn't decline.

Once she was snuggled in on my lap, she softly whispered, “I love you, mom.”

Breathing in the smell of Hannah’s strawberry shampoo, I rocked back and forth with one of the most special people God has entrusted to me and thought about her words.

LOVE.

It is one of the most loaded words in the English language. It carries tremendous power for good and Godly peace. And, yet its meaning has been so twisted by selfish desires that the simple misuse and misunderstanding of this word has destroyed lives and relationships.

I love you too, Hannah, and I thank God for you. Please Lord, protect her. Help her to grow in You. And, as she grows, help her to understand love as you define it so that she can experience the best.

I get done praying, lay my sleeping child into bed, and begin signing some books.

Just a few weeks ago, Pam Stenzel and I released our first book together (with Regal Books). Entitled Nobody Told Me, we compiled approximately 8 years worth of the best teen and young adult stories and questions and put them into a fun Facebook like format with Godly teaching and important up to date facts, making it a powerful read for any student 12 and up, as well as for parents, youth leaders, and mentors.

We want teens to understand love in a Godly way that will empower them to choose abstinence (or recycled virginity if they’ve made past mistakes) and set healthy boundaries.

MUCH of this is accomplished through being informed, setting boundaries in advance, and thinking ahead.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, many of you are watching your daughters of dating age throw around this word and make plans.

So, what can you help them understand "love" and think ahead before they date?

Finish reading my post at MODsquad

*Also, I'm honored to be guest posting with Tricia Goyer today at Real Life, Inspired. Check it out!*

So Where is Your Book Sold? Is it on Kindle?

2011-01-25T09:57:00.000-08:00

Over the past few weeks several people have asked these same questions. Is it only on Pam's site? Or, is it all over. And, the answer is ALL OVER. In fact, last night it was ranked #6 on Amazon in the Teen Books Dating & Intimacy grouping!

You can certainly go to your local Christian bookstore and if they do not have it on the shelf they can easily order it in. All you have to do is ask for Nobody Told Me by Pam Stenzel and Melissa Nesdahl. The publisher is Regal press.

Likewise, you could walk into your area B&N, Borders, etc. and do the same.

Or, if you are an Internet shopper, there are several places to get it as well. Please visit Pam's Website, Amazon, Christianbook.com (where at the time being they have it for $7.99), Barnes & Noble, or whever you prefer to shop from.

As to the Kindle question- it is not yet available for the Kindle, but it IS on the Nook.

The first review in on the websites is 5 out of 5 stars (wahoo!) and we are getting great feedback from teens and adults alike that are going through it.

We don't care where you get it from. We just want you to have it!

And the timing for the teens you love is great. Get it in their hands before Valentine's Day to get a Godly perspective of love!

Also remember for a few more days you can enter to win a copy of the book as well... and who doesn't love free? :)

Birthed in Courage, Adopted in Love (Pam Stenzel’s Story)

2011-01-23T05:52:00.000-08:00

Many have asked me who this co-author, speaker friend of mine is. Outside of being ridiculously fun and an avid Minnesota Twins & Vikings fan (reflecting impeccable taste :) ), she has an incredible story. And, today is the perfect day to share it.

Here it is in her words….

Forty-six years ago in Michigan a young woman became pregnant. She had a lot of difficult choices to make, maybe more so than some because she was raped. Abortion may have been legal in Michigan in the case of rape in the 1960’s, but this 15 year old girl chose to give her child life and then to place that child with an adoptive family. That child was me.

My biological father is a rapist. I don’t even know my ethnicity, but my life still has value and it isn’t worth any less than any of yours just because of how I was conceived. And, I do not believe that I deserved the death penalty because of the crime of my father. All of my life I have had to listen to the rhetoric that every child should be wanted and planned. I have heard people say, “I wouldn’t have an abortion that would be terrible but if it were rape, well then…?” I guess that means that I am a “mistake!” I don’t believe that. I believe that every child is wanted by someone, and I believe that God in His mercy had a plan for me.

I’ve asked all the tough questions. Did God plan me? Does God plan rape? I memorized the verses when I was little like “You loved me before the creation of the world” (John 17:24) and “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” (Jeremiah 1:5). Did that mean me? I might not have all the answers to those difficult questions, but this is what I do know; I know that my God is so awesome and so amazing that He is capable of taking your worst pain, whether it was something that you chose or whether it was something that was done to you, and my God can make something very beautiful come from that. That is Amazing Grace – the ability of God to even take what Satan meant for evil and make something good come from that.

Please do not think for a moment that I would ever stand before anyone and justify rape by my existence. My existence does not justify rape. Never. Rape is still wrong. Rape is still a horrifying violation of another human being. What we can say very clearly though is that the behavior was wrong but the child is a gift from God, created in His image.

I’ve not met my birth mom but if I get that chance I’m going to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I love her because she loved me. She loved me enough to give me my life, and then loved me enough to give me the next most special gift that I was every given, and that is my family. I am eternally grateful for her selfless act of love.

(This story is shared in Nobody Told Me)

Pam’s personal story and passion for life prompted her to get involved in Pro-Life ministries. After years of counseling in a crisis pregnancy center, she learned a lot from her clients. She asked them what they could have been told before they had sex to help them make a better choice. And, with that information, she started a speaking career.

Let me tell you, she is incredibly talented. I’m pretty sure she could talk about the color of the sky and it would be completely captivating, but thankfully she is using her God-given gift to share a more important message about God’s heart and desire for all to experience His best.

Today is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday and in honor of Pam’s story and our book I’m giving away 5 copies of our book, Nobody Told Me. Here is how you can enter-

1) Leave a comment about what you would like this book.
2) Become a follower of this blog via Google or Networked Blogs
3) Tweet about the giveaway, including this link http://bit.ly/gLaxLP
4) Facebook about the giveaway with a link to this post http://bit.ly/gEcn2G

For each of these four things that you do, please leave a separate comment in the comments section of this blog post and I will use random.org to pick the winning numbers.

Be sure to leave our email with each entry so that I can contact you if you win!

There you have it! One person has four potential entries! This book (more info on our book encouraging abstinence & its complete message here) is perfect for students 12 and up, parents, youth ministry workers, mentors, crisis pregnancy center workers, etc., so don’t miss out! You can enter until Feb 1 at noon.

Also, know that Pam is going to appear live on EWTN tomorrow during the March for Life in Washington D.C.! And, I’m writing for a blog tour & ministry newsletters promoting the new book. If you have interest, please include that note in one of your entries. I’ll be sure to follow up with you! :)

*This contest is now closed for entries*

In honor of Pam's life & faith, the new book, & my opportunity from God to share, I'm linking this to -

Cooking with the Kiddos

2011-01-19T11:38:00.000-08:00

Outside of my window the snow is slowly increasing. Fearless neighbors are braving the NEGATIVE 11 degree temperature (That is not a typo my reader friends down south. It is simply an ungodly temp.) to snowblow, clearing driveways and walking paths.

When the weather started dropping on Sunday, I told the kids that we wouldn't be going anywhere except preschool. The risks of the cold temperatures hurting their skin & my healing injured foot in my second trimester of pregnancy just doesn't make it worth it for any of us. But, but, the weather just keeps getting colder. In fact, today is apparently considered balmy to the temperatures we will endure tomorrow. Awesome.

Needless to say, the boundless energy of my 5 and 3 year old girls has required some indoor creativity. We've colored more pictures than I can count, played lots polly pockets, and we've capitalized on their love of cooking.

Since many of you share my somewhat homebound situation...or just have kids that enjoy learning the fine craft of cooking together, I thought I'd share our latest recipe.

Cookie Pizza (out of the Favorite Brand Silly Snacks cookbook)

1 (18 oz) package refrigerated sugar cookie dough
2 cups (12 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 (14oz) can Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk
2 c. M & Ms
2 c. miniature marshmallows
1/2 c. peanuts

1) Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Press the cookie dough into a 12 inch pan. Bake 10 minutes or until golden. Remove from oven.

2) In medium saucepan, melt chips with Eagle Brand. Spread over crusts. Sprinkle with M&Ms, marshmallows, and peanuts.

3) Bake 4 minutes or until marshmallows are lightly toasted. Cool. Cut into wedges.
Because my girls don't like peanuts, we omitted those. But, as you can see, it is a super easy recipe that is easy & fun to make with the children. AND, it's good! It may even make it's way to our annual superbowl party this year. :)

However, we can't keep making food (my OB wouldn't appreciate it!) and like many of the rest of you, I'm always game for fun new ideas with the kids. So, what have you been doing (crafts/cooking/fun) with your kids? I need to start something new but I don't know where to begin. I'm stuck...and before taking the next step forward I need a plan. (Although it seems miniscule, this is how stay at home mom's spend their day & all their kids are exposed to doing. It is important for all of us!)

Please share links and ideas in the comments section so we can execute some new fun. In the midst of this arctic blast, we can ALL gain from shared ideas!

$7.99

2011-01-18T08:11:00.001-08:00

What can you get in life for $7.99?

If you think about it, very little anymore.

But, yesterday I noticed that Christianbook.com has our book on sale for a mere $7.99 so I thought I better let you all know so that you can race your fingers across the keyboard to get it while it is at this good deal!

I have no idea how long it will last. Don't be left out!

Traversing Life's Desert

2011-01-16T20:19:00.000-08:00

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary & carry heavy burdens….”

Sometimes life feels like a desert.

Dry. Harsh. Thorny. Bleak. Desolate.

This week many around me have experienced unwelcomed pain, leaving people feeling parched and lonely. I’ve had prayer requests for difficult work situations, challenging health diagnoses, rocky relationships, etc., and I’ve joined twitterverse in praying for a family who lost their home, a young mother whose husband died in a tragic accident, and another wife & mom who suffered from a stroke.

The heat of life sucks away one’s breath.

But when life dehydrates us, God fills our pores with His hydrating spirit.

One with an open heart doesn’t necessarily see circumstances change immediately, but they are provided Life-Given energy to put one foot in front of another. Uninvited fear and pain gives way to refreshed peace. There is hope.

God promises to be living water (John 4:10) every moment of every day. He gives us what we need in every situation so that we no longer seek comfort and strength from the things in this life, but from the One who has conquered this world.

So drink the Living Water.

And, as you do so, I invite you to share in the comments any prayer requests that you’d like others in the body of Christ to raise on your behalf.

You are never alone. Christ meets you intimately where you are at. And, the community He created you in lifts you up.

We ALWAYS have what we need in the Lord.

Beyond that, He promises

...and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Baby Kicks

2011-01-13T20:26:00.000-08:00

The air outside is frigid. Wrapped tightly into a blanket after another busy day with the kids, I’m thankful to be relaxed and swept away into another world on TV. And that is when I feel it.

Kick.

My hand moves and finds a resting place on my abdomen.

Kick. Kick. Kick.

Clearly the baby is awake and playing soccer in utero. Although I’m only 24 weeks, I feel his or her force through the blanket.

My husband rushes over and moments later is booted himself.

Life is in full force.

My mind drifts away from the show’s story line and begins to dream. Having seen this little person’s face, I wonder if we will soon be swaddling in pink or blue. If this baby will be as active outside the womb as it is in. If it will ever sleep. I begin to imagine the sound of his or her cry and the warmth of newborn cheeks.

My stomach tightens and for a second my breath is taken away.

A Braxton Hicks contraction.

Smiles fill my face. In four months or less we will see this person. Our hearts will be filled with joy as we tenderly embrace the person we dream about today.

But, tonight, we cherish the kicks.

Thank you, Lord, that I had put down my writing to relax this evening. In doing so, I was alert enough to celebrate the extraordinary too often missed in busy ordinary moments.

Slow down, my friends, and truly enjoy ALL that He has given.

Because this baby seems to be constantly moving this week and I've found my hand on my stomach more times than I can count, I'm linking this former post today to-

This Baby Will Be Named...

2011-01-06T13:01:00.000-08:00

(23 weeks)

Since we didn't find out the gender of this baby, people keep asking if we are sharing baby names - and we are. So here is the inside scoop....

Both my husband & I have always loved surprises and life offers very few of them anymore. Consequently, waiting for the delivery to find out gender is an easy choice. Well, except for the fact that Gymboree is having their bin sale right now and TONS of stuff is $1.99 to $6.99. Calling the clinic to see what was written down briefly crossed my mind, but I digress. :)

If it is a girl we will name her Ava Marie.

Ava means "breath of life." Since we prayed about God's will for family size - to expand or not - and I instantly got pregnant we feel this name truly honors God breathing life into the womb.

Marie is my middle name and we've always chosen middle names in honor of someone.

If it is a boy we will name him Josiah Robert.

Josiah is translated to mean "Jehovah helps" or "Jehovah heals." In Scripture, King Josiah started his reign at the tender age of eight and under his leadership people turned away from idol worship to God. Check out more about this incredible Godly leader in 2 Kings 22 & 23 and 2 Chronicles 34 & 35.

Robert was my father's first name. He passed away when I was in college, and my husband and I have always known that if we were ever to have a boy we'd name him after my dad.

Thanks to all who have prayed over my health. The pneumonia is no more and my breathing is back to normal. To top it off, I haven't had to take any anti-nausea meds for a couple weeks! Praise God! Baby remains active (lets hope this is solely an in utero thing or lets just say I will get A LOT of writing hours in around the clock!) and its movements are strong enough now that people can feel it when they place their hand on my belly.

As I write this, I'm experiencing a very random Braxton Hicks contraction. Ava or Josiah? In around 4 months we shall see. :)

Intentional Living in 2011

2011-01-01T08:36:00.001-08:00

Today many people awoke geared up to execute a New Year's resolution. I've never been a fan of New Year's resoultions in my own life because it is typically one self-focussed thing that I forget about or fail to achieve. BUT, I do want to live intentionally. Rather than improving just one aspect of my life, I want to grow in all areas of life so that my life models the faith I profess and my everyday actions extend His hands and feet to the people around me.

Given the times we live in, here are the ten things I am choosing to focus on and would challenge you to do the same.

1) Put God first and trust in His goodness…even when life doesn’t “feel” good. Reading Scripture regularly will help.

2) Tell your family you love them every day.

3) Tell your friends you appreciate them. Don’t just wait for “thank you” moments.

4) Take care of your body. It is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

5) Don’t let our technological age replace quality face to face, heart to heart conversation.

6) Aim to bring a smile to the face of another – volunteer, send snail mail, sponsor a child, etc.

7) Slow down. We live in a fast paced society that causes us to miss the small blessings He places before us. (I’m trying to be especially cognizant of this as a stay at home mother of two small children with a third on the way.)

8) Reach for your goals/dreams. Don’t just sit around waiting and thinking about it. Actually put one foot in front of the next and trust that if it is from God it will be blessed. (My goal is to complete another book manuscript in 2011!)

9) Do something special for you. You need “refueling” to be spiritually full and able to extend His blessings to others. (I accomplish this through a girl’s getaway to Women of Faith each year!)

10) Let go of “to do’s” so you can follow God’s agenda each moment of every day. It will benefit and bless you far more in the long run.

What are you focussing on this year? Whatever it is, I pray that you bring it to Christ, the author and perfector of our faith, to bring eternal fulfillment to your days ahead.

Happy New Year!

Best of 2010

2010-12-31T14:19:00.000-08:00

This past July I started this site as a place of spiritual encouragement & central hub for writing project details. How you've responded as readers blows me away!

In only 5 months, 147 of you became official followers via Networked Blogs or google. And, I've had 12,592 pageviews from people representing every state, Canada, Russia, Germany, Australia, the Netherlands, United Kingdom, Japan, Serbia, Indonesia, South Africa and the list goes on.

The top 5 most popularly viewed posts were:

!!!BABY NEWS!!!

If You Don't Like the Mirror's Reflection, Remember This...

A Thanksgiving Top 10

When Life Gives You Lemons

The Problem With Living in a Shortsighted Culture

The top 5 posts most commented on were:

Teaching Purity to Our Daughters (AND a Pam Stenzel DVD Giveaway)

!!!BABY NEWS!!!

My Journey to Becoming an Author

Christian Moms Unite

Welcome to "Fill My Cup"

If you missed reading any of them, grab a cup of hot chocolate and read up! (We are homebound today due to a snow & ice blizzard. Can you tell by my beverage suggestion?!)

Thank you all for your support! You saw me get my first blog button and celebrated my first book release with me. In just 5 short months, each you have made me -a newbie blogger - feel incredibly welcomed and blessed!

I can't wait to see what 2011 will bring. :)

Have a safe New Year!