Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Real Mom Confessions

How has your week been going, friends? Our family took a trip to the pumpkin patch last weekend and weekly crock pot cooking has begun so fall feels officially in gear minus some of the temperatures. It was NINETY DEGREES on Sunday. In South Dakota. I wasn't on board and am glad to see some true fall temps nearing again.

True mom confessions couldn't come soon enough this week because it's been a week of embarrassing. There is no other way to put it.

Let me start with clothing.

1. Inside Out Shirt. I'm an author and dance teacher. Neither of these professions requires me to look cute, but occasionally I break out of my writer's casual to actually make an effort to look trendy. The other day was one of those days. I put on this really nice Ann Taylor Loft shirt and my 4 year old lit up. "Mom, you look pretty." It was a mega boost to my self esteem that somehow made the idea of going shopping for a new fridge (since ours went kaput) more manageable. You guys, I went to several stores and then bolted to my kids' elementary school to help with the musical I'm choreographing before Mrs. F leans in my ear and whispers, "I don't know if you did this on purpose but your shirt is inside out." Fashion fail. Clearly I should stick with the less challenging comfy clothes.

2. Answering the Door in my Robe. Moving right along to the next fashion fail the very next day. Said fridge that we had to quickly purchase was going to arrive after 12:30pm. The workers had my husband's phone number, which I should have changed right away because he is often in meetings during the day and unable to immediately respond to calls. Well, guess who arrived at 9:30AM? That's right, the doorbell rang and there stood a huge truck in my driveway. It was finally a day where Ava and I didn't have to rush around in the morning so we were taking our time. Easing into the day, as I like to say. I was sipping morning coffee. We were reading books. Life was grand UNTIL THE APPLIANCE DELIVERY MEN SHOWED UP AT MY DOOR. I contemplated not answering but I knew that the ramifications for that would probably be ugly - an upset husband and no fridge through the weekend. So I answered the door in my robe. There ya have it. And, I moved all the items out of our old, barely working fridge, into a cooler on our deck wearing the same. The best I could do was call my husband and say, "If the neighbors say they saw me outside in my robe and PJ pants, it's true."

Here ends the fashion blunders of the week. Thank you, Jesus. That couldn't have gotten much worse.

3. Choreographing with a Carrot. The music teacher picked a really fun sports themed musical for the fourth and fifth graders. I was super honored that she asked me to choreograph it for her and have spent some of every day working with the kids. One of the songs is a skateboarder song and the kids in it really like skateboarding. Today they were throwing out skateboard anatomy parts like it is part of common language but I basically heard French. Anyhoo, I told them that I choreographed their number holding a carrot & to let me know if any of it wouldn't work holding a real board. Their eyes bulged out from their heads. "A carrot?," they all seemingly gasped in unison. Yes, children, a carrot because I am a dancer NOT a skateboarder and the skateboard is the prop for your super cool dance that a carrot can fulfill the place of when I'm making up your moves in my kitchen. I lost all shred of cool in their eyes...until I told them they get to whip nae nae. This mama's back in it!

4. All About Kissing. When we were out at the pumpkin patch there was this ginormous pumpkin that I sat on and Charlie gave me a kiss. What can I say? We love each other, and the kids seeing that once in a while translates to them as being part of a loving, stable home. But, my 8 year old apparently said to my mom, "Grandma, do you kiss grandpa?," to which my mom said yes, and Hannah follows it up with, "My dad kisses my mom A LOT."

Oh, yes. Yes she did. :)

How was your week?

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