Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Real Mom Confessions: Well Child Check Quotes

I had real mom confessions sprinkled from throughout the week ready to go in my mind when we went to the girls' well child checks yesterday, but the event deserved a post on its own. Oh my stars. Here we go.

1. The Interview. Pediatricians are smart these days. They interview the children instead of asking the parents. This way they are sure to get the full truth. Well, our girls' doctor was asking them the color of their milk lid. About bike helmets and sunscreen and favorite foods and school. At which point Hannah goes,

"What are supposed to do here? Just sit around and talk?"

Excellent. We're off to a fantastic start.

2. The Dentist. Before making a departure from the interview station the doctor asked if they went to the dentist twice a year. People, I take my kids to the dentist twice a year. However, I rescheduled our last appointment because of a scheduling issue. Please keep in mind I take myself + my three spawn all at once. This is not an easy or quick reschedule which upsets my girls because they LOVE the dentist (mad props to my dentist & his hygienists for a job extremely well done) so Grace says,

"My mom won't take us to the dentist."

Somebody. Make. It. Stop. 

3.  Gross Body Parts. On to exams. Grace lays down and the doctor starts tapping her tummy. The girls are super intrigued by what he is doing and their physician is kind enough to explain what the different sounds mean and how it sounds different on different areas of the body. "See, this is the liver," he says, "it doesn't sound the same does it." Now let's keep in mind he is a physician. He's not only good with kids but he's also genuinely INTERESTED in the body. How does my sweet Grace respond to this little learning lesson?

"We learned about liver and other gross body parts in elephants today."

Am I invincible yet? Teachers, you can say she's making a connection all you want but I say we limit verbal connections to a time when we are not referring to the gross body with the DOCTOR!

4. Healthy Breakfasts. Before he's done with the kids the doctor encourages the kids to keep eating healthy breakfasts because they named healthy foods that they like in the interview that Hannah cut off. I was feeling pretty good about that and then this.

"Well, I've been eating pancakes with sugar this week."

Calgon take me away. Did I say that I was feeling good about something?! I lied.

5. Flu Vaccine. Before heading out from this dream visit it was time for their yearly flu vaccine. I told the girls we'd go with whatever they deemed to be most effective- shot or mist. The nurse suggested the mist and both of my older two started whining. Yes, WHINING because they WANTED the SHOT. What in the world?! They both suggested that the mist made them a little dizzy last year and I told them sitting down for a few minutes of dizzy would be better than the horrible-ness of Influenza. Take it from a mom who knows, girls. I think the commentary has ended when my delightful little Ava, who really is always funny, moans,

"Then them will see my boogers."

Whose kids are these? Certainly not mine. Someone call their mother to come pick them up. I'm OUT.

That's our house in less than an hour's time. What happened in your family life this week?

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  1. This is hilarious. But they said all of these things because they were at the doctor, checking up on them because they are well enough not to need regular visits. I know you've got this in perspective and take it in stride, but it is a perfect picture of how you are pretty much kicking butt in the awesome mom category. Get it, Melissa!


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