Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Real Mom Confessions

It's real mom confessions day. The number of you that have said you like a peak into the craziness of my life cracks me up. You tell me it makes you feel better. I think it just confirms that perfect isn't normal. Life with children is unscripted territory and sometimes we're the moms we imagined we would be pre-kids, but most of the time we just have to laugh at the life that is parenting. A blender of good/bad, get it right/get it wrong, energizing/exhausting moments that create a blessed life.

1. Let's start with how my 7yo sees me. She decided to design a Melissa weemee. Here you have it.



"Mom, I made you. You're mostly in your robe and slippers with a coffee and phone to check Twitter."

If only my life was "mostly" this chill.

I decided to laugh and not remind her of the laundry that I do at the midnight hour, and the countless demands that I'm meeting when they are all yelling what they need at me at the same time, and that I check Twitter to get news to protect them from things they need not see, and that I write and create dance lesson plans around my schedule filled with things to do with and for them. What? Mom has a real job? I'm pretty sure my kids don't think so.

2. My shower looks like a toy aisle of Target threw up in it. The kids split up bathrooms so they can all get baths and showers done at the same time, which is nice for night time convenience, but less nice in the morning. Could we have any more water barbies? I think not. I picked them up and turned the shower on only to notice a flashing light. Was I losing my mind? No. Light up Sophia was still on the floor flashing whenever water hit her. Whatever, man. I didn't have the energy to move her. Enjoy my super hot water, Princess Sophia.

3. The bed time hostage situation. Have you seen Jim Gaffigan's sketch about bed time being an all out crisis that evolves into a hostage situation in reverse? Well, that is pretty much our life say....every night. In fact, I think if they went into their rooms quietly, didn't say a word and went right to sleep like happens in my dream world, I would be terrified something happened to them.

The other night they came out for the usual - one last night night kiss, the bathroom, confirm the weather for tomorrow to make sure the outfit they have planned will work (girls), etc. But, one of them kept getting hurt when she would get back in bed. Don't ask me how. I'm not even sure. I just know that post bedtime does not bring out my finest parenting. Do any of you get me? And I actually said, "If you get hurt getting into bed we're not going to help you because no one should get hurt this much going to bed."

My hubby and I burst out in laughter at the sound of my exasperation and then I promptly apologized to my girls who I assured I would always help if hurt because I love them but to please get to sleep so injuries will not occur and we can all wake up a little happier in the morning.

4. Hydrogen peroxide.  Speaking of injuries, summer seems to break out the destruction of self mode for kids. I'm so grateful that I have kids that are healthy and can be active, but do we really need to exercise it to this extreme?! Between bike falls and games and apparently the aerobic sport of getting in bed and all the other things, we have incurred so many injuries. Two of my girls have such banged up knees they actually had a "no scream" contest with the hydrogen peroxide the last few nights.

Hydrogen peroxide is like miracle stuff. It digs into their wounds + scratches to clean it out with strong visual appeal. It's just that we are needing it often. I looked at my hubby the other day and this went down:

Me: With all the injuries these girls have accumulated since school got out I am so thankful...
(he cuts me off)
Him: That none of them have broken a bone?
nice thought
Me: Well, yes, but I was thinking that hydrogen peroxide is so cheap.

He told me never to repeat that. But, moms, you get where I'm coming from right? If that liquid gold was the cost of gold we'd all be up a crick. Clearly my man is way nicer than I am :)

So that's it for bloopers this week. Laughs aside, we've had an awesome week. VBS started and all three girls are taking part - Ava and Hannah as participants and Grace as a junior crew leader. I'm the official pray-er in the snack room so I get time with all of them. Bonus! And, last night my mother-daughter dance line expanded to include a 3-5yo + mommy class. I can't wait to tell you more about it down the road :)

Good and bad, get it right and get it wrong, energizing and exhausting moments. What went down in your house?



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