Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Real Mom Confessions

Happy Wednesday, friends! It's time for some real mom confessions and, boy oh boy, have I had some flops this week.

1. Food fail. My man's favorite donut is the apple fritter so when I saw apple fritter bread on Pinterest I designed a whole brinner around it. I wore my cute apron while I whipped it up. Just call me Betty Crocker.

Except don't. Because apparently I tried taking it out of the bread pan too soon and my heavenly smelling loaf turned into a mess. My visions of being the amazing wife tanked so I just canned making the cream cheese topping, broke the rest of it up, and put it in a bowl, presenting it as a "bread side" to eat with a fork. At least it tasted good.

2. Bad school mom. Yes, I said it. School may be out but that doesn't mean there isn't signing to be done. At our children's elementary school they are doing a summer reading program (that I love) in combination with the community library. Apparently Grace had her reading log in a folder that I cleared out. For her to have the same type of reading log as my daughter going into second grade would be entirely too easy so I couldn't make a copy of Hannah's. Commence the tears of my very type A child. Insert me wondering how I could fail at a school thing in the summer. Now you have a visual of what happened in my house. I called the school and confessed my error + told a friend. They all gave me copies and you better believe I ask Grace and happily sign each day.

3. Elementary school library craft screw up. The libraries in our city are really awesome. In addition to great books, they have awesome programming that draws students in. Today they had a superhero craft. Grace and Hannah worked well on their own, but Ava needed a little assistance. When we finished, I was feeling really good about it until the following conversation goes down:

Grace: Mom, you did Superman's face wrong. (She starts laughing).
Me: No I didn't.
Grace: Yes you did. His eyebrows are below his eyes.

Sure enough, she's right. Note the correctly made Superman behind.

I grabbed the red sharpie and gave Superman a smile. Does Superman smile or is he all business? I'm not even sure because I have three very girly girls and, honestly, Superman was the only one of the three superheroes that I recognized. I'd be better with Barbie.

Me: There. Now they're his raised cheekbones from his happy smile.
Grace laughed so hard it made me laugh. Yay for messed up projects. Sometimes they make for more fun memories and than the ones done right.

And speaking of laughter....

4. Checking out. With the exception of taking my kids to the library and pretending to be the principal when the kids were playing school, I read pretty much all day today. My friend dropped off Jim Gaffigan's book and my house productivity halted to zero. Thankfully neighbor kids wanted to play or I would have had to remind my kids that self sufficiency is a real thing.

If you haven't read this book you need to. And if you don't like it I'm not sure we can be friends. Kidding. I laughed so hard I cried multiple times. Like, I'm counting it an abdominal workout. The underlying reminder that none of us parents really have a clue what we are doing and that all our kids embarrass and exhaust us in a myriad of ways will totally make you feel better about the job you are doing. This gig is tough, but so worth it!

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