Monday, January 26, 2015

Dear Girls, What You NEED to Know about the Tongue

The phone call started with what I thought would make her happy. It ended with what felt like a prolonged tongue lashing and silent tears.

The who and why are not important. The grappling of my heart, sweet girls, well that is.

You see, when words hit like daggers on the playground and you share with me about it, I know you dream of the day you are an adult. Like me. When people have grown in kindness and treat each other with respect.

But the truth is we never graduate from the playground.                         

Even adults fail to express themselves in a healthy manner sometimes. Women tend to be primary offenders. Sadly, our gender tends to be especially catty. I can say that since I’m female J

I’m not sure why this is. If it digs deep into societal pressures about the varied ways to get work, home-life, and the Christian walk right. Or if we have less security than our male counterparts. Or if self-pride gets in the way of truly listening and treating others with dignity.

This hearing words of hostility is a lifelong condition. To tell you any differently would be to lie. And, for that, I’m so sorry.

During my middle school years I remember girls intentionally trying to intimidate and belittle. Girls trying to rattle my confidence. Girls trying to get under my skin and turn me away from doing what I knew God asked of me. Of being the person He made me to be. I’d go home and vent frustration to my dad, wiser than I, and each and every time he’d say, “Kill ‘em with kindness, Melissa.” I wanted to scream. I wondered if I was heard.

Being the good when you feel bruised is difficult.

It still is in adulthood.

So when this woman spoke like she did for the length of time that she did, I could hear my dad yelling from heaven loud and clear, “Kill her with kindness.” And I did. Though it went against all I was feeling. And I honored her. And I thanked her for her time and what I do appreciate about her. It wasn’t easy, but people will not forget how you made them feel. As an adult, I get this.

Girls, here is the bottom line. Treating...

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  1. "Kill 'em with kindness" I like that!

  2. Wow, I love this verse it is so true. I have been guilty of the wicked tongue, but a work in progress.

    1. You are in good company. The verse is good challenge for all of us, in our humanity, to be our best. We ALL make mistakes. Take His grace and think anew!


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