Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Modesty Meltdown: Are Parents to Blame?

“Mom, did you see her high heels?”

A quick glance to the left reveals a small girl wearing high wedge heels.

“They’re pretty. You can have those when you’re older, remember?”
I think the conversation is over but when we get in the van my kindergartener continues.

“Why can’t we have high heels?”

How do I enter this big girl modesty conversation with a little girl who is still entertained by the Berenstain Bears?

Ava is nearly one.

“What would it look like if I put on Ava’s swimsuit?,” I ask her.

“Silly,” she says with a giggle. “It’s for babies.”

“Right,” I reply, thankful for the recognition. “The same is true for high heels. They look appropriate on older girls, so we are going to wait.”

Later my husband and I go on a supper date. As we wait, a group of young teenage girls walks wearing dresses that barely hit their thigh. My heart silently breaks for them and I begin to wonder how much they paid for such little material when my husband stops my thoughts all together.

“Did you SEE how short those dresses were?”

Shock from a father who wants to protect his girls with everything in him.

Days would pass before I find myself sitting in a meeting. A mother fearful for what her small son will face says, “I can’t believe how provocatively girls are dressing these days.” She’s right and clearly not alone in her concern because the very next day I hear it from another mother in a casual setting. “But, you pick your battles,” she sighs.


“I’d rather deal with that than sex.”

And there lies the rub. If we think these issues are mutually exclusive we are deceiving ourselves...

To finish reading my post, please visit MODSquad here


  1. so true! If we think that showing off the skin only inches from our private areas is not tempting men to imagine sex with us, we deceive ourselves. Bake a cake in a room full of people and don't expect anyone to want a piece...

  2. Where are all the dads? I our strong "feminist" culture we have created WEAK, who should be our protectors.

    1. I know I grew up in a house where my dad had rules about modesty and in our house my husband's voice on the topic is heard. There are many men of God who have and are stepping up to the plate. There are also moms and dads alike who haven't...or just don't know how. Hopefully awareness through the lens of grace and empowerment will help all parents to expect modest beauty. It's so important.


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