Saturday, April 28, 2012

I'm Undone

By our big God.

I have to admit when I wrote "The Modesty Meltdown: Are Parents to Blame?" my finger shook as I hit post. I was nervous. Not because talking about modesty is taboo. Quite the opposite, everyone everywhere is talking about modesty. The problem is that it is popular to point out how clothes leave less to the imagination each season and how it goes directly against God's heart for how we define beauty. It is quite another to point the finger of blame at ourselves. At we parents who have lost our backbone and, therefore, perpetuated this deeply entrenched, twisted sin that has hurt our culture and brought deep pain into the walls of our homes.

So, I actually stayed up until midnight - the time the post would go live on MODSquad - and, at the stroke of twelve, said a prayer that mothers would see this post through the lens of grace and self-empowerment rather than judgement. And, I asked God to thicken my skin, thinking arrows were soon to follow.

Even though I was sure this truth was one God wanted me to post in the way I wrote it, I was scared.

When I woke up the following morning I was amazed. Emails indicating MODSquad comments already filled my inbox...and they were positive. Words of thanks for the reminder and the community that emerged to encourage one another in their parenting was unimagined. Mothers of boys even chimed in and males entered the conversation on the MODSquad link comments. I saw the number of facebook "shares" mount on MODSquad, Pam's page, and with people cutting and pasting the link. I watched it go through my twitter stream. Priscilla Shirer, whom I quoted, and Dannah Gresh sent messages that they loved it.

And my eyes blurred with tears.

I've written time, time, and time again about how I've let fear stop me {perhaps it's a good thing we're going through Angie Smith's "What Women Fear" for our next Bible Study :)} As I watched all He was doing with the post, I couldn't help but thank Him that I didn't cave and limit the way He intended to use me.

I just finished Priscilla Shirer's "The Resolution for Women." In the final chapter, she talked about the legacy we will leave for our children and their children. Although that can feel overwhelming, the thought that continued to pop in my head is that my legacy will not be determined by one grand action. It will be determined by the several simple choices that I make throughout my day...because my children are watching and the world is reading. What will the message I send write on their/your hearts?

I want to stand boldly for Christ.

I don't want to shy away from the gospel because of what others might think. I want to be the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)

And I want to pass that along to my family.

Isn't my new van decor cute?

But if I'm going to do this, I need to trust God. When He places words on my heart, I need to speak with confidence that He has a plan for my words that extend far beyond what I can fathom in my little human brain.

I need to lay my fear at the foot of the cross and watch my God raise it up in ways only He can.

I'm thankful for a God that said see?! to me again this week. I'm thankful we can turn our eyes to Him and He can resurrect in us hope where fear once resided. And, I'm hopeful that when we choose to do this, our way of living would swing back towards Him.

1 comment:

  1. So cool to read about how God worked in your heart through this experience. Your post also beautifully illustrates the way God works through Bible study. Awesome!



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