Thursday, August 11, 2011

Caught in the Middle

Sometimes fear keeps me there.

Our Bible Study is currently going through Joanna Weaver’s “Lazarus Awakening.” Inside the beautifully written pages, Weaver entwines the Lazarus story into our own lives.

A particularly striking image for me was her discussion of tombs. In Jesus’ day they were made of two chambers, she educates. The first room is a vestibule, which contained a stone seat. The inner chamber was for the deceased.

Metaphorically speaking, Weaver asserts than many of us live in the “midchamber” of life.

“Suspended halfway between death and life, we’ve accepted the Lord as our Savior, but we have yet to step out into the fullness of life Christ came to give. Instead, we’re holed up in the dark, held captive by our hearts, our hang-ups, and our habits.” (Weaver)

Ouch. Call me guilty.

Often times I let fear of failure (my hang up) hold me back. I’ve locked away goals in the corner of my heart because I didn’t think I had the skill set to successfully accomplish my desire.

I’ve dwelt in the “midchamber.” Anyone else?

Somehow, operating in this self-protection mode feels safe. I tell myself that I have much to offer and the gifts I don’t think I have, well, that is okay. Someone else has that skill to contribute. And to a certain extent, that is true, but it holds me back from trying things God is nudging me to do.

If I am going to affirm that I can work through every situation He has called me to in His strength (Phil 4:13), then I need to trust Him with all areas of my life and not decide for Him where I will shine.

So I am going to try to be better at letting go of the hang-ups to get out of the “in between.” I want to leave the “midchamber” to experience the full richness God has uniquely designed for me.

And I’m starting with the site. I know it’s a small think in the big picture, but for a while I’ve really felt God calling me to change the template and customize the header so that readers and publishers who stop by get a better sense of me. However, “tech” skills are not my thing. Whenever I go to tutorials on headers my blood pressure rises and my memory drifts back to my college days when I’d be stuck in the science lab for hours because I couldn’t create and import my graphed out findings. I emotionally curl into the fetal position, close the computer, and settle.

But I want (and feel called) to try.

Sadly, this is one example of this rut I’ve experienced in many different ways.

However Weaver’s imagery has me inspired. Get me out of this “midchamber.” I want to step into the light - even if it means going out of my comfort zone and a belly flop here and there.

It’s go time!

So I read more tutorials and came up with this new color scheme and design. What do you think? I’m not going to lie. I might have let out a little scream and done the happy dance. Now I’ll move on to my next issue. :)

What has you hanging out in the “midchamber?” What hang-up, past hurt, or habit do you struggle to let go?

You aren’t alone. Be encouraged.

And, if you don’t have this book on your shelf, get yourself to the store! It’s Just. That. Good.

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