On my dining room table sits a lacy, shiny Tinkerbell book bag, and every time I glance at it my heart skips a beat. How did we get here already?
The evening was spent labeling school supplies all the while praying for her happiness and success as she enters this new phase of life. Folded on her chair is an adorable outfit “Nama” got her for her first day. How did we get here already?
My whole life I have wanted to be a mother. While I was in school I enjoyed academic success and always envisioned myself being the business type by day and then happily picking up my child(ren) for family time the remainder of the evening.
Then I had Grace.
She didn’t come in our timing. After years of praying, God blessed us with a perfect baby girl. We knew it was by God’s “Grace” that we were parents and in adoration for His entrusting her to us we named her out of worshipful love.
Although I was done with my pre-med course work when she arrived, I was signed up for the MCAT and the once certain girl of being the working mom began to question. After spending months home with Grace, I no longer felt passionate about the high power career. True bliss was right before me in a tiny pink bundle. God was calling me to be a stay at home mother.
When my MCAT scores arrived, I heard God speak in what truly felt like an audible voice saying, “It doesn’t matter how you did. It isn’t for you.”
Overcome with immeasurable peace, I knew before opening the package that I wouldn’t go. Many couldn’t understand it. Why pay all that money if you aren’t going to go? Why let those brains go to “waste?” To them it made no sense.
But to me (and the people who knew me) it made PERFECT sense. This life isn’t about following what we believe to be the goal, but about seeking His voice and living out His goal for us. When we do this, bliss follows.
Colossians 3:23-24 speaks powerfully to this- “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
I have invested my working energy everyday into being a mother to Grace (and Hannah). I’ve considered myself fortunate to be home with her, to teach her lessons, to provide her with fun experiences, to help her feel safe and secure, to reinforce that God made a princess in her, and to begin the education process.
But, tomorrow she will put that back pack on and start the next phase. We will give her a huge hug and kiss and wish her well as she enters a classroom that we felt was the right place for her. And, when I do it, I will praise God once more for His voice that constantly seeks us out and guides our life.
Because He spoke…LOUDLY…I have had the best four years of my life. Bliss, and a different me (in a multitude of ways), than I would have ever predicted for my life.
I can't wait to hear all about her (2.5 hour) day and continue on this path God has so richly blessed me with.
Listen for God’s voice and trust that when you serve Him (and not the world) reward from the Lord is sure to follow.